


Lucky Number

by the-eagle-of-masyaf (Dunkelherz)



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blind Date, Chatting & Messaging, Complete, Developing Relationship, First Time Kiss, First Time Sex, Fluff, Glasses, Ink, M/M, Piercings, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Tattoos, Texting, tattoo artist - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:46:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 42,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1610603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dunkelherz/pseuds/the-eagle-of-masyaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had all started six months ago. Kadar, his brother, has had this stupid idea of creating a profile for Malik on okcupid - without Malik’s knowing. To both Kadar’s and Malik’s surprise, he hadn’t deleted his account right away but had actually stuck around for it. He’d gotten a couple of stupid messages, no, a lot of stupid messages and a few dick pictures as well but there’d been one message, one little tiny message that had gotten Malik’s interest. The writer of said message had been nobody else but Altair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrasayf](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=mrasayf).



'turn on your cam'

 

'No.'

 

'please'

 

'No.'

 

'pretty please'

 

'No.'

 

'i turn on mine!!1'

 

Malik snorted and run his fingers through his hair. 'Hell no', he typed trying to find a way to keep both hands on his laptop when this stupid fat cat was pushing its head underneath his arm all the time. The Captain purred, then rubbed his cheek once more against Malik's wrist until he finally lifted his arm, the big ball of fur dropping on his lap and Malik's laptop almost fell off, pushed away by The Captain.

 

'oh com on why?'

 

Malik chuckled, The Captin -or TC as he liked to call him as well- was kneading his thigh with one paw since he only had one front leg. 'Because you guilt me into turning on mine then and I've told you numerous times before I won't do this cyber sex shit.' Malik grabbed his glass, wrapped his lips around the straw and took a big gulp of soda. He saw Altair typing, then deleting everything, then typing again. A second later, his reply came: 'wont'

 

It actually made Malik laugh, then he watched Altair typing again. He was typing for a very long time and Malik got up, TC rolling down his legs and went into the bathroom to take a piss, then made a small detour into the kitchen to put some popcorn into the microwave and finally made his way back over to his couch, sitting down next to TC and looked at his screen. Altair was still typing. He closed the skype window and clicked back into his browser before a small 'pling' told him Altair had finished writing his message and hit send.

 

'i just wanna see your face'

 

The message was surprisingly short for the amount of time it had taken Altair to write it.

 

'Come on, spill it boy. What did you write before you've deleted it?'

 

'you know howhot its is when you call me boy?'

 

'Don't change the subject now.'

 

'i just dont understand why you cant just turn on your cam so we can skype'

 

Malik looked up, the sound of popping corn filled his kitchen and he had to keep an eye on it if he didn't want for it to burn. 'I want to see you in person for the first time, not on a video screen that's freezes every three seconds.'  

 

There was a pause again, TC was purring somewhere close to his ear and Malik eventually got up, tired of waiting for an answer and went to get his popcorn, almost burned his hand as he took it out the microwave before adding some salt, putting it into a bowl. His skype window was blinking again once he returned.

 

‘so then lets meet’

 

‘Sure’, Malik typed back. ‘If you don’t chicken out on me again.’

 

‘i didnt!’

 

Malik smirked again, sitting up and leaning forwards, the bowl of popcorn placed on his lap. ‘Yes you did so the last time we wanted to meet. You sent me a text saying you can’t make it because your boss makes you work late.’

 

‘i wasnt lying.’

 

Malik took a fist full of popcorn and popped one after another into his mouth. ‘It actually made you sound like a teenager who has to work the late shift on a friday night.’

 

‘ive told you i work at pizza hut’

 

‘Sure’, Malik typed and licked his fingers clean of butter, TC trying to steal some of his popcorn by jumping onto the couch next to him once more. ‘When we meet, you will tell me what you’re actually working.’

 

There was no reply, only a grumpy looking smiley. Malik grinned, typing ‘Boy.’

 

‘youre an idiot’, Altair said.

 

‘Didn’t you just say how hot it is when I call you that?’

 

Malik chuckled but it died in his throat and he almost swallowed a whole popcorn. “Oh damn it…!” Malik snatched up his bowl of popcorn quickly but it was too late, TC had already gotten his paw into it, sending popcorn flying around everywhere. “Stupid cat,” he muttered and brushed some popcorn which had landed on his couch back into the bowl - it was still good to eat after all. He looked back at his screen once he’d cleaned up most of it.

 

‘shutup’

 

‘♥ ♥ ♥’

 

There came no other reply and Malik was back to munching his popcorn, snatching up the remote to turn on the TV, switching through the channels until he found something interesting on the Discovery Channel. Time passed, TC was rolled up on his chest, the familiar weight of his laptop resting on his lap and he’d almost forgotten about his open chat with Altair before his message window finally blinked up again.

 

‘lets meet’

 

Malik snorted again. ‘Sure’, he typed back.

 

‘do you know the small turkish bakery downtown’

 

Malik frowned. ‘Yes.’

 

‘how about friday  afternoon, around 4. they have great baklava.’

 

‘You mean it this time’, Malik said and his fingers stopped from moving through TC’s fur.

 

‘yes i mean it!!!11’

 

‘come on. say yes’

 

‘Sure.’

 

‘sure?’

 

Malik rolled his eyes, ‘You make it sound as if I was the one being all shy about this.’

 

‘im not shy!!’

 

‘Yes you are ;)’

 

‘so is that a yes?’

 

Malik resisted the urge to roll his eyes yet again. ‘I’ve already told you, no? It is a yes.’

 

‘yayyyy!!11!!’

 

‘You’re the worst Altair, I swear.’

 

‘;D’

 

xxx

 

This was, hands down, the best baklava Malik had ever tasted. It was sweet, moisty and tasted deliciously of nuts and pistachio. It was the best he’d had in a long time and he thought the last time he’d eaten baklava this good was back when his grannie had still been alive.

 

It wasn’t even four in the afternoon yet but Malik had wanted to check out this place for a very long time now so he’d arrived about an hour early. He’d sipped for a while on his mocha now, eyes moving to the door every now and then. Well, alright, maybe every two or three seconds. It was getting close to four and Malik thought Altair had to arrive every minute now. He’d told him what he would wear and what he would order so there shouldn’t be a problem for Altair recognizing him. But every time the little bell above the door rang, Malik’s hopes were crushed when he saw the person entering wasn’t Altair - like right now, when a boy entered, looking around the place before rubbing his hands on his pants, then moving over to the little coffee bar, sitting down on one of the chairs there. The next time Malik looked up it was just a mother coming in with her young child and by the third time, Malik didn’t even dare to look up only to risk a glance once more, but it was a girl. He leaned back and looked up at the clock again. Five minutes left before four. Altair still had time.

 

It had all started six months ago. Kadar, his brother, has had this stupid idea of creating a profile for Malik on okcupid - without Malik’s knowing, thank you very much. Eventually Malik had found out, Kadar had been just too stupid to ask him all those questions and after Malik had pushed him face down into his floor, sitting on his back and pulling his arms behind him, he’d confessed. Now, Malik was no violent man but his younger brother didn’t deserve any better for his stupidity. To both Kadar’s and Malik’s surprise, he hadn’t deleted his account right away but had actually stuck around for it. He’d gotten a couple of stupid messages, no, a lot of stupid messages and a few dick pictures as well but there’d been one message, one little tiny message that had gotten Malik’s interest. The writer of said message had been nobody else but Altair. After a while they had ditched okcupid and switched to skype. They’d spent a couple of weeks chatting, then chatting had turned into flirting and eventually, after a few months they both have had enough and wanted to meet each other in person. Only problem was that Altair had chickened out in the last minute, leaving a very frustrated but also amused Malik behind. Altair was actually cute when apologizing.

 

So now he was sitting here, waiting for him to show up and Malik thought it was only a little pathetic for going to a blind date for the first time -well, technically second time- at 32 years old. He also only felt a little weird for doing so, after all, he had no idea how Altair looked or if anything he’d told him was true. For all Malik knew, Altair could be as well just a 40-year-old desperate housewife… dear god, he hoped that wasn’t true.

 

Malik was at his third baklava, which was a lot considering how sweet they were, when he looked at the clock again. Altair was 45 minutes late so far… He checked his phone again but there hadn’t been any messages from Altair. ‘Where are you??’ He quickly pressed send, then without even waiting for a reply wrote ‘I’m sitting at one of the tables near the window’, in case Altair had maybe missed him. ‘Are you already here?’

 

When no reply came, not even after he’d waited another ten minutes, Malik got annoyed. ‘I can’t believe you chickened out again!’ He put his phone onto the table, not wanting to waste another second with texting Altair, but- He wrote another text, then deleted it and put his phone away. Then, Malik picked his phone once more, typing, deleting it, typing again, deleting it, placing his phone away. Only to repeat the whole thing a couple of more times until he finally had enough. Altair hadn’t even read his message. He got up then, heading for the restrooms to relieve himself but as he returned, he saw something was different at his table. Malik frowned and looked at the napkin lying in the middle of his plate.

 

‘I’m so sorry’, it said and then ‘Turn me over’. Malik did. On the back it read, ‘You’re right, I’m shy. I’ve watched you for an hour but I couldn’t come over to you.’ That was all. Malik groaned.That was somehow adorable and also very, very annoying. He wondered what it actually was that made Altair so shy of meeting him in person! He wanted to skype with him on camera all the time so why was he always ditching their dates? Wait a moment-

 

‘I’ve watched you for an hour’

 

He’d been here! Malik looked suddenly up and around but there were only two girls sitting at the table near the door and an old man waiting for his coffee he’d just ordered. Malik got up, heading over to the counter. “Excuse me,” he said and the young woman looked up, waiting for a moment before she poured milk into the man’s coffee, then handed it over to him. “Yeah?”, she asked.

 

Malik waved the napkin in front of her. “Did you see the guy who put this onto my table when I was in the restroom?”

 

The woman frowned at him and yes, Malik did feel indeed stupid for asking such a question. “I think it was the one sitting at the coffee bar,” she said with a shrug of her shoulder.

 

“Oh.” Malik didn’t even try to hide his disappointment. There had been sitting three man. “Alright,” he nodded and paid for his moccha and baklava, before leaving the small coffee shop.

 

Three guys and he hadn’t paid much attention to any of them. Well, he did remember the boy though he ruled him out. The other one was an elderly man, with a grey beard and Malik thought no, that hadn’t been Altair. The third one… the third one he actually didn’t remember because he hadn’t seen him from the front at all, he only remembered that he’d had dark hair. Yes, that probably had been Altair, damn it! And Malik hadn’t even noticed too! Shit!

 

‘I’ve read your pathetic apology’ Malik typed into his phone as he walked down the street. ‘You have to do better if you want me to forgive you’

 

He was honestly a little surprise when his phone vibrated just a few seconds later. ‘so this means i actually have a chance of you forgiving me? :)’

 

Malik snorted, opening his text messages to type a reply. ‘I’m seriously pissed at you’

 

He shoved his phone back down his pants and when he crossed a street and sped up his steps, he almost collided with some dumb teenage boy who was too busy having his nose up his phone while walking down the sidewalk. Malik only sent him a glare as he looked up but forgot about it as soon as he took the stairs down to the subway station. If he was lucky he would catch his next train home just in time. He pulled out his phone, he only wanted to check the time or at least that’s what he tried to tell himself, but after doing so, he also went back into his text messages and opened Altair’s chat. He was still typing.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh god, you big lump of... lazy,” Malik groaned as TC jumped onto his stomach in the early morning, meowing loudly and he sent a wave of cat food breath right across his face. He reached up, patting TC's head fondly, earning him a low purr. “Why are you awake? It's sleepy time,” Malik muttered but TC was now flopping down right on his chest with his big ass, starting to lick his back, demonstrating just how flexible he was. “Yeah I know, you don't care,” Malik muttered and reached for his bedside table to snatch up his phone. It was shortly after eight in the morning and Malik groaned. It was Saturday for god's sake, he'd planned to sleep in and not wake up at such an unholy hour! TC was done licking his butt, squeezing his eyes shut and getting into a comfortable position on top of Malik and it almost seemed as if the damn cat was grinning satisfied at him. How could be angry with such a cute face?

  
  


He looked back at his phone, noticing the new text messages. 'i guess youre right', Altair had written him somewhere around 2 am. He scrolled further down, reading the one after that, 'i am shy'.

  
  


“No shit Sherlock,” Malik actually said out loud, his hand falling onto TC's back to scratch his neck. He scrolled down to the next text, 'but i really wanna meet you'.

  
  


“Yeah I'd really like to meet you too,” Malik hummed to himself and wiggled his toes, the spot TC was lying on getting warm.

  
  


'look im afraid of what you think of me'

  
  


Malik rose his eyebrows and sat a little up which wasn't so easy with what felt like three tons of cat pressing down on his chest. Altair never was the one talking about emotions and what was on his mind so Malik assumed that maybe, just maybe, Altair might have had one drink too much last night, confessing all of this to Malik.

  
  


'i dont want you disappointed'

  
  


It was the last text and Malik responded to this one actually, 'You already disappointed me so no worry about that.' Yes it was harsh but then again it wasn't the first but the second time Altair had stood him up on their date and Malik knew it wouldn't happen a third time. A little voice at the back of his head tried to tell him Altair was only playing with him, that maybe Altair wasn't even a guy but maybe a bunch of guys, having their fun with Malik. But then again, such thinking was paranoid and Malik really wanted to see Altair, wanted to forgive him. The last time Altair had been online was shortly after four in the morning and Malik assumed it would take a couple of hours before he would get another text from Altair.

  
  


Since he was already awake he thought he could just get up as well. He stretched his legs and rolled his shoulders, TC making a grumpy face as he slowly slipped off of Malik's chest and then got comfortable in the warm spot Malik was leaving now. He headed for the small kitchen unit in his apartment and turned on the coffee machine since he wasn't human before having his first coffee in the morning. Next came the toast and Malik took out everything he needed for his breakfast. When he glanced through the open door into his bedroom, he saw TC stretched out comfortable on top of his pillow. It made him grin. Silly cat...

  
  


xxx

  
  


Malik was actually having his second cup of coffee after he'd come out fresh and clean of the shower, towel wrapped around his waist and another one placed around his shoulders. He flopped down onto his couch, turning on the TV as he was still deciding what to do with the day when he saw his phone blinking. He picked it up, he'd gotten a new message.

  
  


'Mom's the worst.' That one was from Kadar.

  
  


Malik smirked, 'What happened?'

  
  


'Woke up to the delicious smell of bacon'

'Went out into the kitchen to get some'

'None was left'

'Mom said dad ate it all'

'I have to get up earlier'

'Asked her if she'd make some for me'

'She laughed'

'She laughed Malik!!'

'And she didn't make me breakfast'

'I had stupid cornflakes'

'The sugarless ones even!!!'

  
  


Malik chuckled and he placed his coffee mug onto the small table to his feet. 'You deserved it you lazy pig.'

  
  


':((('

'Didn't your date go well?'

'You're not in a good mood'

  
  


Malik looked at his phone for a moment, then changed chats and went into Altair's one – he still hadn't read his message and it was nearly eleven now. Probably still asleep. He got back to Kadar.

  
  


'He stood me up again'

  
  


'Seriously?'

'Why?'

'Is he retarded or something?'

  
  


Malik looked confused, 'What?'

  
  


'Yeah, stupid or something. Why would he stood you up? Again?'

  
  


'He said he's shy', Malik typed with one hand, his other one holding the cup and guided it towards his lips so he could get a sip.

  
  


'If he's cute looking I maybe would consider forgiving him then'

  
  


'Why?'

  
  


'Cute looking shy guys... ;D'

  
  


'You're not gay Kadar.'

  
  


'But still!!'

  
  


Malik looked up when he heard a low thud coming from his bedroom, then listened to three little paws shuffling over the floor and eventually, the noise turned towards the kitchen and was followed by a loud meow. TC was hungry alright.

  
  


'Is there anything you actually wanted to tell me?', Malik asked and got up from the couch but not without making a detour to his bedroom, fishing his laptop from the nightstand's table, turning it back on.

  
  


'Nope.'

  
  


Malik nodded, 'Alright then', he typed back before finally feeding that little monster to his feet.

  
  


xxx

  
  


Malik looked up when he heard an incoming call over skype through his laptop's speakers. He was about to cut the onions but grabbed a towel to dry and clean his fingers, moving over to the living room.

  
  


Altair.

  
  


He ignored it and went back to cooking before his phone vibrated in his pocket. Malik felt just a little ashamed with how quickly he looked at the screen – he'd wanted to wait at least for a little but damn it, he was just too curious.

  
  


'let me talk to you'

And then, right underneath it, only sent a minute later, 'please malik.' The one after that was only a sad smiley.

  
  


“Damn it Altair,” Malik groaned and turned off his phone, attending back to his late lunch.

  
  


xxx

  
  


His pasta had been surprisingly good, what had been unnerving though were Altair's constantly calls and messages on skype. Yes sure, Malik could have just logged off but who the hell was Altair for making Malik log off skype? No, nope, he would not. So he'd eaten while watching some _Suits_ , snorted about Harvey's jokes every once in a while and had tried to ignore the ringing and blinking. Eventually, once he'd finished lunch and had made himself comfortable on the couch, he opened Altair's chat window, his brows rising as he saw the wall of text. He started reading.

  
  


'i have the worst hangover'

'malik'

'i feel horrible'

'and only half of it because of the beer i had last night'

'i really wanted to meet you. i already recognized you when i was walking by the window. And when i was inside i just'

'icouldnt walk over to you'

'did you ever had this feeling where you thought your body weights like a ton?'

'that happened to me yesterday'

'malik'

'malik i really wanna meet you'

'i never did this before okay??!!11'

'i know being shy is now excuse'

'i seriously never wanted to disappoint you'

'or hurt you'

'when i was sitting there i kept thinking what if if im not what youre expecting? what if you dont like what you see?'

'fuck im nervous'

'malik look'

'im really sorry'

'give me another chance'

'tonight'

'i wanna make up to you'

  
  


Malik rubbed his face with both hands, groaning loudly and fisted his hair. He closed his laptop, grabbed his keys and jacket and left his apartment.

  
  


xxx

  
  


“That bad, huh?”

  
  


Malik pushed Kadar away as he walked into his room, sitting down heavily on his younger brother's bed, Kadar rising his brows as he closed the door behind. “What?”, he asked Malik and leaned against his door, hands behind his back.

  
  


“This is all your fault,” Malik said and pointed at Kadar. “You made that fucking profile and-”

  
  


“Whoa!” Kadar pushed himself off the door and held up his hands. “You could have deleted it right away, you didn't-”

  
  


“If you wouldn't have went behind my back like that then-”

  
  


“Then what?” Kadar craned his neck, arms crossed in front of his chest now. He wouldn't take Malik's bad mood any longer. He glared at his older brother but eventually his eyes softened, if only a bit. “Is this about Altair not showing up?”

  
  


Malik groaned. “You idiot, what do _you_ think this is about? Of course it is!” He threw his hands up in the air and then flopped down backwards onto Kadar's back, fisting his hair.

  
  


“You're acting like a lovesick teenager Malik.”

  
  


“Shut up.”

  
  


“But you are”, Kadar grinned and he pulled out his office chair, sitting down on it the wrong way and rolled in front of Malik. “You're acting worse than me.”

  
  


Malik's head shot up. “Don't be stupid now,” he said before his head fell back onto the bed once more.

  
  


“So why are you here? Don't tell me you went all the way across town to yell at me.”

  
  


“I'd travel half the world to yell at you,” Malik muttered.

  
  


It made Kadar roll his eyes, “Fine, be an ass then.” He kicked against the corner of his bed. “Did mom invite you for dinner?”

  
  


“No...”

  
  


“Are you going to stay for dinner?”

  
  


“What's she making?”

  
  


“I don't know,” Kadar shrugged.

  
  


“I don't know either. Probably not though.”

  
  


Kadar sighed heavily, “Alright so... tell me then.” He narrowed his eyes. “Altair's messing with you?”

  
  


Malik groaned again, loudly, and grabbed Kadar's pillow and pressed it onto his face. “Yeees,” he mumbled into the fabric.

  
  


“What else did he say about not showing up?”, Kadar tried again since now Malik wasn't about to rip his head off anymore.

  
  


“Just that he's shy,” Malik said and pulled the pillow away again, his face a little red and hair ruffled. “That he was too scared to walk up to me. He didn't want to hurt me- yada yada yada. The whole shitty apologize thing.”

  
  


“It doesn't sound that shitty.” Kadar frowned deeply and looked confused.

  
  


“It's the second time he did it, that's why I can't take it all... seriously.”

  
  


“So what now?”, Kadar asked and kicked against the floor, spinning on the chair.

  
  


“I've thought you'd tell me that...”

  
  


Kadar laughed loudly and Malik pushed himself up onto his elbow, glaring at his brother. “Oh come on,” he told Malik. “You actually want advice for your love life by your 22 year old brother?” Kadar snorted. “Yeah sure.”

  
  


“It's your fault after all,” Malik said once more and Kadar held out his hand, making an impatient gesture. “Come on, give me your phone,” he asked Malik.

  
  


“Why?” Malik rolled a bit to the side when Kadar made an attempt to grab into his pocket. “What do you want with it?”

  
  


“I wanna see what he wrote.”

  
  


“You want to write him,” Malik said instead and sat up Indian style, reaching into his pocket himself and clutched his phone to his chest. No way he'd give it Kadar.

  
  


Kadar rolled his eyes, still holding out his hand. “Yes, obviously – give it to me.”

  
  


“No.” Malik started to look grumpy.

  
  


“Yes,” Kadar said.

  
  


“No.”

  
  


“Yes. Give me.”

  
  


“No!”

  
  


“Yes!” Kadar got off his chair and went to straddle Malik's lap in order to get his phone. “Don't be so stubborn,” he whined and they started to wrestle, Malik shouting, Kadar screeching and there were some nasty words too, a knocked over lamp and a pillow that was thrown against the door before said door opened.

  
  


“Stop it! Both of you!”

  
  


They both did, breathing heavily, faces red and hair ruffled. They looked up towards the door, meeting their angry mother's gaze – some things apparently never changed, not even two brothers fighting when one of them was well past puberty. Kadar half lay underneath Malik, Malik's phone in his hand and he held it high above his head, quickly bringing it down against his chest while Malik was staring at their mother.

  
  


“Dinner's ready”, she said and looked them both up and down with a look in her eyes that said 'I don't even wanna know'. She shook her head, then turned around and left them alone, door still open.

  
  


“I guess you stay for dinner then,” Kadar said underneath a heavy breath and Malik nodded, snatching his phone back out of Kadar's hand.

  
  


“Yes, I guess I am.” 


	3. Chapter 3

“So... what now?”

  


“What now?”

  


“What now,” Kadar repeated, sitting on Malik's couch the wrong side up, head hanging down one end while his feet where up against the backrest. He was bored, Malik knew that. He might be the cool, older brother -although Kadar always said the opposite of him- but Kadar usually didn't come to his place to hang out, especially not on a Friday night. But there he was now, after Kadar had knocked on his door without even telling Malik first he was planning to come over – although he couldn't blame Kadar for that, he'd his phone turned off most of the time since, well... Since Altair was pretty much getting on his nerves. He still hadn't really felt in the mood to forgive him.

  


“I have no idea,” Malik sighed and run his fingers through his hair. He was staring at the TV although he didn't pay any attention to what was running. “Why are you even here? It's Friday, you're supposed to go out and get wasted,” he said and changed the channel once more.

  


“I've thought of trying your lifestyle for a while – no friends and all, you know? A few geeky books and a glass of whiskey once in- hey!” The pillow fell from Kadar's face onto the floor.

  


“You deserved it,” Malik told him in a warning tone. “And you better not say another word or I kick your sorry little bony ass.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest, placing his feet up on the coffee table. He did have friends! They just... Oh fuck Kadar! He didn't have to explain himself to his little brother!

  


“You're still not talking to your boyfriend?”

  


“He's not my boyfriend,” Malik huffed and why did he let Kadar in again?

  


“But you're still not talking to him?”

  


Malik shook his head, “No.”

  


“Do you still want to meet him?”

  


He groaned, “Can't you just let it go? Why are you interested in my love life anyway?”

  


Kadar shrugged. “There's nothing good on TV.” There went the second pillow, right into his brother's face again. Next time it wouldn't be a pillow, Malik was sure of that. He did, however, saw how the corner of Kadar's lip was trembling after he'd pulled the pillow from his face, as if he was trying to hide a smirk. “What are you planning?”, Malik asked and he reached into his pocket, looking at his phone only to remember it was turned off since the morning.

  


“I'm in the mood for pizza,” Kadar simply said and Malik rolled his eyes up the ceiling.

  


“Did you have dinner with mom and dad?”

  


“Yepp,” Kadar said cheerfully and sat up, his hair tossled. “Mum made Lahmacun, very delicious.”

  


“I know mom's Lahmacun,” Malik said. “It's the fucking best.” He eyed his brother for a minute. “And you're still in the mood for pizza?” He sighed. “I think I have a Domino's menu somewhere...”

  


“I want Pizza Hut,” Kadar said and oh- oh! Now Malik understood. He looked at his brother with a stern expression. “No,” he simply said.

  


“Why not?” Kadar looked as if Malik had just slapped him in the face. “I mean- I'm pretty sure he works at the Pizza Hut not too far away from the coffee shop you two have wanted to meet...”

  


“Why do you think that?”

  


Kadar snorted. “That place is not really well known so I just guess Altair lives somewhere in the neighborhood plus... there's a Pizza Hut five blocks down the street. I say we should order pizza from there.”

  


Malik shook his head, “No.”

  


“We could just go there.”

  


Now Malik looked horrified at his brother, “No!”

  


“Oh come on!” Kadar whined. “Aren't you curious how he looks? We could go there, have a pizza and check your boyfriend out.”

  


“He's not my boyfriend!” Malik huffed. “I think he was joking when he told me he was working at Pizza Hut. That's a job for college or high school boys...”

  


Kadar waved his hand at him – he obviously didn't care. “Maybe he wasn't joking, you don't know.” He waited for a moment, then smirked at Malik. “So are we going to order pizza now?”

  


Malik shook his head, he knew he wouldn't get a peaceful evening with Kadar and his stupid little plan. “No – let's go there instead.”

  


xxx

  


“This was a stupid idea Malik, he's a delivery guy he won't be here,” Kadar huffed but he'd ordered the large pepperoni pizza anyway and they were now waiting for it, sitting at one of the tables where they could see the parking lot from.

  


“I'm going to ask the cashier” Malik said eventually because he actually had enough of this. Kadar had been feeding him up all night long how this would be _the_ chance for him to see Altair after their two times in a row ruined dates – thanks to Altair.

  


“I honestly thought you'd never say that.” Kadar rolled his eyes, then winked at him. “Come on, go ask the cashier.”

  


“I will,” Malik huffed and got up, glancing across the counter to get a glimpse at the kitchen area.

  


“So? What are you waiting for?”, Kadar asked from his seat, looking up at Malik with expecting eyes.

  


“Nothing,” Malik muttered and turned towards the counter, slowly, as if he was... trying delaying things until Kadar just gave the small of his back a shove, making him stumble forwards. This wasn't really like him and Malik knew that, which made it even worse! He usually wasn't such a chicken...

 

The young cashier stood in front of him, chewing on her gum open-mouthed. She'd probably be gone by the end of the school year, off to College or something. She looked young and not really enthusiastic, so Malik just assumed this was a job for her being able to pay the gas money and insurance on her car while still going to school. He honestly wondered why Altair worked in a place like this. He'd been probably lying about that anyway – damn, Kadar would be in such a foul mood if Malik proofed him wrong, that Altair had actually been joking about working at Pizza Hut. The cashier looked up at him. “Yeah?”, she asked.

  


“Could I talk to Altair?”

  


The girl looked at him with a frown on her face, Stacy read her name tag, her eyes traveling up and down his body. “He's out on a tour.” She glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall behind Malik. “Probably won't be her for another hour.”

  


“Don't worry, we can wait!” That was Kadar and from the corner of his eye, Malik saw him waving and grinning at him. “I just ordered my pizza, we wait while I eat,” he added cheerfully.

  


“May I ask who wants to talk to him?”, Stacy asked and she looked even more confused now, thanks to Kadar.

  


Malik swallowed hard, looking slowly back at her. “If he's here, just tell him Malik wants to see him.”

  


Stacy nodded, “Alright, cool.”

  


xxx

  


Kadar was at his dessert when there was a car pulling up to the parking lot, an old Ford Pickup, a really really old Ford Pickup and Malik was surprised it didn't fall apart right then and there. It was too dark outside for him to see the man getting out of it properly but he did enter the restaurant through the back door. Malik craned his neck to get a look of the kitchen area, but he couldn't see him yet.

  


“Yo Altair”, Stacy called bored from her position behind the register, leaning on the counter with one elbow while she was writing down a order she'd just taken over the telephone, “there's somebody who wants to see you!”

  


He heard how Kadar choked on his apple pie, but he bumped his elbow into Malik's side, making him groan. “He's here,” he whispered excited although there was no need for him to whisper and Malik sent him an angry glare out of the corner of his eye. “I'm not deaf,” he muttered and heard some tumult coming from the kitchen.

  


“Yeah? Who?”

  


His voice was deep, smooth with just the hint of an accent but Malik was able to make it out - maybe also because he knew Altair has lived the first few years of his life in Syria. It actually made his heart pace quickening because shit, he'd been really waiting for this for such a long time now and wow – okay, keep calm and just stay cool.

  


Stacy stifled a yawn. “Somebody with the name Mike.” And that made Malik flinch, because fuck it, Stacy was not going to College and he would probably still see her here by the end of summer if she couldn't even remember a name for just an hour! Fucking goldfish brain...

 

His hands turned into tight fists and Kadar was about to explode with laughter next to him but just a quick look at Malik's red face told him he'd better shut up.

  


“Mike? I don't know any Mike,” Altair said from the kitchen and why, why couldn't he just come out?

  


“Well he asked for you and he's been waiting for the last hour or so...” She didn't finish her sentence and Malik was about to get off his seat to just walk up to the counter so he could see into the kitchen and-

  


There was a boy coming up, eyes scanning the room. Malik sighed in frustration, that wasn't him either. “I have enough of this,” he told Kadar and pushed himself up, getting out of their corner booth walking up the counter. The boy was talking to Stacy, whispering something quick into her ear and when he saw Malik, his eyes widened and he hissed one last word into the girl's ear, something which sounded like 'Please' before he made his way back into the kitchen, quickly.

  


“Could you call him outside please?”, Malik grunted as he plant himself in front of her, one arm sitting on his waist while one eyebrow rose in an annoyed manner. “I don't have all night.”

  


Stacy looked at him with her big brown eyes and now she seemed even more confused. He saw how she glanced over her shoulder into the kitchen, then how she mouthed a 'Why?' before she whispered rather loudly, “You owe me one!” before turning back to Malik with a smile. “Sure, let me get him for you.”

  


“Thank you,” Malik huffed and drummed his fingers onto the counter. He heard feet shuffle over the floor behind him and he smelled the pepperoni on Kadar's breath as he took his place next to Malik.

  


“You're about to see him,” he whispered in a sing-song voice while wearing a huge grin.

  


“Shut up Kadar, this is-” But Malik didn't finish his sentence and now he was the one looking confused, when there was a woman standing in front of him, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

  


“Is there a problem here?”, she asked and Malik actually felt as if he'd just swallowed his tongue.

  


“Uhm, what?”

  


She eyed him again, “I said, is there a problem here?”

  


“What do you mean? No, no there isn't-”

  


“Because I was told you're trying to keep one of my employees from work and-”

  


“What?” Malik's voice was actually a little higher than usual. “I just want to talk to Altair for a minute, really... uhm, Maria,” he said as he read the name on her tag.

  


“It's Ms. Thorpe,” she said sharply. “And Altair isn't on his break. You have to come after closing hours if you want to talk with him.”

  


Now this was ridiculous and Malik wanted to say so, his mouth already opening to give her a piece of his mind but he felt Kadar's arm on his shoulder. “Yeah sure, we come back later,” he said because while his brother could be stupid at times, even _he_ could fell how tense the situation was and didn't want Malik to get into any trouble. Malik thought there must have been something more, something Stacy must have told Maria maybe because no way she'd be this pissed just for Malik wanting to talk to Altair during his working hours.

  


“Good,” Maria said in an icy voice. “Stacy is going to ring you up and then you leave please.”

  


“Sure, whatever,” Kadar said and he nudged Malik in his side. “You said you'd pay bro.”

  


Malik still couldn't believe his ears and he was currently winning a staring contest if it wasn't for another of Kadar nudges to his rips, this time it actually hurt. “Alright,” he grunted, breaking the eye contact with Maria and put some money onto the counter without even knowing the total he was owing. He didn't care, he just wanted to get out to get some fresh air.

  


“Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut,” Maria called after them as they left the restaurant and it took all of Malik's willpower to not flip her off.

  


“Remind me again why I listened to you?”, he hissed at Kadar as the door fell shut behind them.

  


“We could wait in the car for him to come out-”

  


“Like hell I will,” Malik cut him off. “This was a stupid idea. We're going home.”

  


He didn't listen to any of Kadar's protests and tried to mostly ignore him through out the car ride, but he did turn on his phone once he got home, writing Altair a text.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 'What the hell. Seriously what the hell?' Malik had sent the text around eleven in the evening. Kadar had gone home long ago and Malik was currently turning for what felt like the millionth time in his bed when his phone went off.

  
  


'wut'

  
  


He was actually considering to throw his phone against the wall. It took him a couple of breaths to calm down eventually and to resist the urge to smash his phone. This wasn't like him. This honestly wasn't like him. Malik was a nice guy, a calm guy but Altair – Altair had crawled so deep underneath his skin that he was now this super annoying itch Malik just couldn't reach and it drove him _insane_. What really bothered him though was the fact just how much of an impact Altair had on his life – he wondered when that idiot had become more than just an Internet flirt. But then again, Malik knew _exactly_ when that had happened.

  
  


When he pulled his phone back up, his hand wasn't shaking as bad anymore and he opened Altair's chat. 'Did you pay that little pizza guy some money to go and see who wanted to talk to you so you didn't have to face me?'

  
  


There almost was no pause. 'what do you mean?'

  
  


But Malik didn't care. 'And then this Stacy girl told your manage shit about me, didn't she?'

  
  


'wait wait! that was you tonight??'

  
  


Malik groaned loudly. 'Idiot of course it was me!'

  
  


'are you stalking me now?'

  
  


Stalking- what?! Malik sat up right in his bed, leaning over his phone, fuming. 'I am so angry right now, I actually have no idea how to reply to that.'

  
  


'im not the one who came to your work place'

'i dont even know where you work!1!!'

  
  


Malik stared in pure disbelieve at his screen. Did Altair seriously try to turn this around only to avoid giving Malik an explanation for tonight's events? 'I can still order some pizza home you know?', he typed back.

  
  


'were not open anymore' and now that, that actually made Malik lift his hand, ready to throw his phone across the room but instead, let his drop to his bed and buried his face in his hands. He had no idea why he was still talking to Altair, why even _bothered_ with him. But the past few months hadn't been like that. Altair hadn't drove him insane. In fact, the last six months he'd talked to Altair on a daily basis on skype. They hadn't talked via web cam, but they've talked and written to each other and eventually, he'd given Altair his phone number too, so now they were not only skyping with each other but also texting over their phones. Altair had become Malik's daily routine. He'd wrote him first thing in the morning, asking him how he slept and Altair would do the same. They would spent hours talking to each other and eventually, those talks had become more intimate. Malik had enjoyed talking to Altair, a lot. Which was the reason why he was so mad now – he didn't understand any of Altair's behavior, had no idea why he was acting like such an idiot. But maybe that was an answer he'd never get.

  
  


Malik felt tired, felt drained of all his energy. Altair was making him lose his last nerves. 'Forget it', he typed eventually and slumped back into his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His phone vibrated again and then a few more times but Malik didn't look at it.

  
  


  
  


xxx

  
  


  
  


It was ridiculous hot today. It was so hot, Malik had thought he'd melt any moment he'd spend longer in his apartment so in the end, driven by desperation, he'd made his way over to the public pool. To say he felt uneasy between all the families with little children would have been an understatement, but he'd found himself a nice place in the shades far away from the pool and playground area, earphones with music playing shielding him from all the loud noise and craziness around him and the book between his hands helping him to escape into another world.

  
  


It _was_ hot though and he would go and risk a dip in the pool later although he assumed the water would be unbearable warm by now but everything was better then to keep on toasting in the sun like an overcooked piece of steak.

  
  


There were a few groups of teens too but mostly, there were young mothers with their kids trying to keep them from drowning. Malik seriously felt like in the middle of a fucking anthill but he did his best ignoring it because going back into his hot apartment was no option either. Eventually, he got tired of reading, he'd listened to all the music on his phone and he felt completely roasted.

  
  


As he got to the pool, Malik saw that there was absolutely no free spot left. He would have to squeeze himself in between all the other people but damn it, he did want to get a quick cool break from the heat and he would do it. Children were running past him, laughing, crying, mothers and fathers were shouting and a group of teenagers walked pass him. One of them was accidentally knocked into Malik by a running kid but he held up his hand, smiling politely and told them it wasn't a big of a deal as they apologized. Malik would have dismissed it almost immediately if the same teen wouldn't rise his hand all of the sudden, waving at somebody further away. “Hey! Altair! Over here!”

  
  


Malik stopped and he looked up, following the direction the teenage boy was looking. There was a group of children and adults but eventually, a young man, no, more of a _boy_ squeezed himself through them and Malik recognized him from the Pizza Hut he and Kadar had gone to a few weeks ago.

  
  


The group of teenagers was far ahead of Malik now, almost at the end of the pool and the one who'd run into him earlier, embraced Altair in a quick hug.

  
  


Malik's eyes widened with realization. Dear god it all... it all made so perfectly sense right now! He took a few steps forwards, looking closer. Altair- that was Altair! And he couldn't be older than... what, twenty, maybe? Malik frowned. He'd always joked about it but now that he got all the facts together... Altair really was still going to school, probably delivering pizza to pay for his tuition. All this time he'd thought he'd been writing with an adult – well, not that Altair wasn't an adult but fuck! The way he looked Malik was at least a good ten years older than him!

  
  


Altair didn't see Malik and Malik couldn't blame him. It was ridiculously crowded at the pool and it was sheer luck he'd even been able to meet Altair here. Watching how Altair and his group of friends moved towards the picnick area, Malik decided to still take a quick swim in the pool before heading back, seeing if he could catch Altair by himself – no way he would miss this opportunity to finally speak in person with him.

  
  


xxx

  
  


Malik was disappointed. He'd lost track of Altair after he'd gotten out of the pool and now an hour had passed and he still couldn't make him out among all the other people and children. He was about to pack all his stuff when luck struck him once more. Malik craned his neck but yes, yes that was Altair right over there at the kiosk about to get either something to drink or to eat and he was alone.

  
  


Malik got up, his bathing trunks completely dry again and he moved as quickly through the crowed as it was possible when wearing flip flops. He stopped close behind Altair, waiting for a moment. Altair had no clue, was shifting from one foot onto the other as he rubbed his arm, skin still wet from being in the water.

  
  


“So if we go on a date, I have to order a happy meal for you?”, Malik said close to his ear as he leaned forwards, his voice hushed so nobody would listen.

  
  


Altair practically swirled around, eyes wide and hand up against his neck where Malik's breath had tickled him. “Malik!” His eyes widened even more now and when he saw the face Malik was making, he actually looked sort of... somewhat, maybe, frightened. “What-”

  
  


“So that's it? That's why you've been avoiding meeting me?” Malik grabbed Altair by the arm and pulled him with him, just a few feet away underneath the shadow of a tree.

  
  


“You- I didn't know you've so many tattoos...”

  
  


“And I didn't know you're wearing glasses but I don't hear me judging you-”

  
  


“It wasn't meant like that!”, Altair quickly said and pulled his arm free of Malik's grip, eyes still glued to the tattoo sleeves covering both arms. His right one was showing a Phoenix, Malik had gotten it after a very bad car accident when he'd just gotten his driver license so many years ago – back then, he'd barely made it out alive and had almost lost his arm. After the scars were healed well enough, he'd gotten the tattoo. The left arm was showing an owl, simply because he'd loved owls ever since he was a kid.

  
  


“Stop that,” Malik said and pulled Altair's focus back onto him. Jesus, he'd known Altair had sometimes acted somewhat not the age Malik had thought he was but- looking at him from this close, he really was a boy. “Please tell me you're legal,” he said next because shit, Malik remembered a few not so PG-rated conversations with him.

  
  


Altair huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, only to push up his glasses a second later. “I'm nineteen, thank you.”

  
  


“Nine-” Malik took a step back, going pale. He rubbed his face and groaned. “Dear god, how-”

  
  


“You never really asked for my age you know?”, Altair said and rubbed his arms again, looking down at ground blushing lightly. “So don't act all surprised now...” He rubbed his neck.

  
  


“I was pretty sure your profile said twenty seven or something-”

  
  


“Oh!” Altair interrupted him. “Yeah that was before... I changed it after we've started talking. My age doesn't show on my profile anymore.”

  
  


“If I would have known you're nine-”

  
  


“Then you would have never started talking to me, I see”, Altair nodded and now he looked older, more mature and Malik realized it was because he'd stopped smiling and now actually seemed.. hurt.

  
  


“You haven't played with me, have you?”, Malik suddenly asked as it hit him. “Every time you've stood me up up was because you were afraid because of your age.”

  
  


Altair nodded, slowly. “Course I was”, he said and now when he looked up at Malik to meet his eyes, he saw the anger in them. “And obviously I was damn right about it. I just weighted my options Malik, either I tell you the truth and watch how you turn away from me or I keep on lying, trying to talk to you as long as possible before you find out...”

  
  


“And when I came to your work place...” Malik didn't finish the sentence but waited for Altair to catch on.

  
  


“When I saw you I've told Stacey to think of something to make you go away. I had no idea she would tell my boss you were stalking me”

  
  


“I knew it,” Malik grunted and his eyes narrowed again.

  
  


“I didn't want you to find out in front of all my co-workers!”, Altair cried and now he looked helpless again, his shoulders slumping. “I needed more time, I had to think of something...”

  
  


“Great and there was no other way, obviously”, Malik huffed.

  
  


“Yes- I mean no! I-”

  
  


“Oh god here you are, I thought you were lost,” somebody groaned behind Malik and as he turned around, he saw it was the boy from earlier, the one who'd bumped into him. “Seriously Altair, what's taking so long to get a few Cokes?” He walked in between them, standing next to Altair and put his arm around his neck. It was now he saw Malik and he eyed him from head to toe. “Who's that?”, he asked suspicious.

  
  


Malik could see how the tiniest shadow of a blush crept over Altair's cheeks. “That's- uhm, that's... that's my tutor...” Altair's friend looked even more suspicious and his eyes roamed over Malik's tattoos. “Your... tutor?”, he asked in disbelieve and it made Altair groan, “Yes Ezio, my tutor. Now go, I will get you your damn drinks.” He shoved at Ezio, but he was still frowning. “You're a fucking genius why do you need a tutor?”, he kept on pondering before Altair gave him another shove. “Ezio. Later”, he told him with a stern look and _finally_ , finally Ezio shook his head and waved at Altair, mumbling something that sounded like an 'Alright' before vanishing in the crowd.

  
  


Altair sighed and then looked up at Malik. “So what now?”, he asked eventually in a quiet voice before he pulled off his glasses, blowing across them to get rid of a little fly sitting on one of them.

  
  


He had the brightest eyes Malik had ever seen, that was for sure but that couldn't let him forget about Altair lying to him – well, not exactly lying, but withholding information. Important information. “We meet tonight,” Malik said and shook his head when Altair looked up at him with hopeful eyes. “I want to see your ID. Need to know if you can't get me into trouble for sure,” he huffed and cringed when he remembered Altair had actually sent him one or two pictures of his dick.

  
  


Altair's shoulders slumped down again. “I can show you my ID now-”

  
  


“No,” Malik said and waved his hand in front of Altair. “I can be an asshole but I don't hate you enough to embarrass you in front of your friends. We meet later tonight, then you show me.”

  
  


Altair nodded, then met Malik's gaze. “You hate me?”

  
  


Malik snorted, “What did you think?” He watched how Altair blew up his cheeks only to let the air escape slowly through his lips.

  
  


“You've said you liked me,” he eventually murmured and Malik hardly understood him.

  
  


It made Malik go tense, his back straightened and his eyes turned distant. “Yes I know,” he said and his voice was way more softer than his eyes were. If anything, his voice sounded almost as broken as Altair looked right now. “But that was before. And this is now.”  


	5. Chapter 5

'Guess who I met today'

  
  


'Mmmmh... No idea.'

'Not in the mood for guessing games'

  
  


Malik sat up straight, his hair still wet from when he'd taken a shower once he'd gotten home, towel resting on his shoulders while TC jumped up into his lap, demanding some much needed attention. 'Is it possible my little brother's in a bad mood?' Because that almost _never_ happened. Kadar was this cheerful little pill of ecstasy, always hyper and bouncy.

  
  


'Shut up Malik.'

  
  


TC purred when Malik stroke his fingers through his soft fur, yawning lazily. 'Don't be like that now little pumpkin', and Malik grinned because he knew Kadar hated this nickname their mother had given him – except for when their mother called him like that. He saw how Kadar typed a reply but then left the chat and Malik actually chuckled. 'I'm pretty sure you really want to know who I met today.' When no reply came, he wrote 'Altair'.

  
  


Half a second later, Kadar's reply came. 'What???'

  
  


'Yeah...' Malik rubbed his hand over his wet hair, tousling it. He still didn't know how to feel about it – to be honest, it was quite a bit much to deal with. Even though Altair's behavior made perfectly sense now, that didn't change the fact he'd been lying to him, and Malik didn't care how he never really asked Altair for his age, he's known Malik's age he should have told him that information right in the beginning. He was disappointed to say the least because now, something that has started so great, only left a bitter taste in his mouth behind. To be honest, the more Malik had talked to Altair the last few months, the more he'd thought they could have had an happy end – now he only believed there'd be an end.

  
  


'Oh my god tell me!!'

  
  


'Well I finally know why he's been avoiding me all this time.'

  
  


'Malik I'm going to fucking kill you if you don't tell me right away!!'

  
  


TC sat up on Malik's lap and bumped his head against his hand, demanding even more of his attention as Malik pat his head absently while typing. 'He's a freaking boy. He's nineteen.' And typing that made it even worse now and his ears turned a bright red when he remembered some of their conversations.

  
  


'So?'

  
  


Malik groaned. 'So? He lied to me, he's a child!'

  
  


Kadar sent a smiley rolling his eyes. 'He's not a child, dear god Malik.' There was a small pause before Malik watched Kadar typing again. 'Does his age bother you that much?'

  
  


Now that made Malik think because- well, yes on one hand yes, it did in fact bother him a lot because... this wasn't just a bit of age difference but more like a huge gap between their ages. He and Altair stood on totally different levels, moved on complete different stages in their lives. He had no idea how that should work but- But what bothered him the most was the fact Altair had been lying to him, all this time. While he understood now Altair hadn't meant to play games with him, it didn't stop hurting Malik. Yes, he was _hurt_ and that was probably something he would want the least to admit to anybody but hell, Kadar has known him for twenty two years now, of course his little brother knew what's up with Malik.

  
  


'Yes', Malik typed back and added: 'His age and his lies are bothering me.'

  
  


'I can't really blame him', Kadar typed back and Malik could almost hear the heavy sigh in his words. 'From what you've told me, things have started pretty great between the two of you. If I were in his position, I would think about telling you the truth but would probably be scared to death you end things right away.'

  
  


'That's what he's told me...'

  
  


'And he was right about it, wasn't he?'

  
  


'Damn it Kadar, that's exactly what he said, too!'

  
  


';D'

  
  


Malik rubbed his face before his hand fell back into his lap, TC starting to lick his fingers with pure devotion. 'But seriously Malik, what now?'

  
  


He looked down on his phone, thumb hovering above the screen to type a reply. 'I've told him to meet me tonight, I want to see his ID.'

  
  


He could imagine Kadar's confused frown very well when his answer came a moment later. 'What, you couldn't do that when you've met him today?'

  
  


'He was there with his friends, one of them actually met me and he didn't tell them who I was... I didn't want to embarrass the boy any further.'

  
  


'How kind of you', Kadar replied, followed by a smiley rolling his eyes, again. 'So let me get this straight...' Malik watched Kadar typing, waiting for what he was about to say while he scratched TC underneath his chin fondly. 'Because I know you, you're a big chicken when it comes to stuff like this,' Kadar wrote but that wasn't all, he was typing again as soon as he'd sent Malik the text. 'You asked Altair on what could look like a date, to see his ID and then to break up with him. Yes?'

  
  


Malik frowned and rubbed his chin, cat hair was flying everywhere and he blew against it to keep it from his eyes and nose. 'We're not a couple, there's nothing to break up.'

  
  


'You two have been pretty much like a couple the last few months, just without meeting each other!' Kadar was typing fast now. 'But I'm right, aren't I?'

  
  


Malik thought for a moment, then typed back.

  
  


'Yes.'

  
  


'You can be such an asshole.' And Malik knew Kadar was right about that.

  
  


xxx

  
  


Malik had asked Altair to come meet him down at the pier. It was a rather beautiful evening, after a hot summer day followed a warm summer night, a red sun going down at horizon and Malik watched it while eating his ice cream cone. Altair was late, they agreed to meet at eight, now it was almost half an hour later. It took Altair another ten minutes to show up and Malik turned around when he noticed the shadow to his feet. Altair stood there, one hand shoved into the pocket of his jeans, wearing sneakers and an unbuttoned shirt he'd thrown over his t-shirt. He held one hand up and in between his fingers was a plastic card. “My ID”, he simply said. No 'Hi' or 'Hello' or anything. But Malik didn't blame him, after they've met for the first time this afternoon, Malik had make sure to let Altair know just how disappointed he was.

  
  


Malik took it, wary. He didn't even bother with asking why he was late but studied the picture for a moment, then looked at the birth date then back at Altair. “Alright”, he said and handed the card back over to Altair who put it quickly away. “It would have sucked if I had to go to prison because of you.”

  
  


Wow, that had hurt – Malik could actually see it how it broke Altair's heart but he just couldn't let this pass. This could have gone wrong on oh so many levels and he hated, absolutely hated it if somebody lied to him, regardless for what reasons.

  
  


“I am sorry,” Altair simply said although Malik assumed he could have screamed at him, call him off or whatever, just anything but to take Malik's anger. But Altair took it, took all of Malik's fury and to be honest, it impressed him if even just a little. “Maybe we can go somewhere, talk. There's a small restaurant not too far away-”

  
  


Malik rose his head and when Altair saw the look on his face, he stopped talking. “Or not,” he said quickly instead and shoved both his hands into his pockets.

  
  


Malik had actually planned to go and have a talk with Altair – he wasn't enough of an asshole to just end things like that, even when Kadar thought he would. He wanted to give Altair at least an opportunity to explain himself before they would go separate paths. “No, I think I know which restaurant you mean,” he said instead and there it was again, this hopeful little glee in Altair's eyes and it honestly made Malik feel worse than he probably should, he was the victim here after all but maybe it wasn't that simple. “We can go there.”

  
  


xxx

  
  


It was a small restaurant right at the beach which had a tiny menu and was currently crowded with people. They mostly sold fish and seafood and while Malik didn't feel that hungry, Altair had ordered himself something – boy was still growing after all, wasn't he? That thought made Malik pull his lips into a thin line and he rested his chin on his palm as he looked across the table at Altair. Anyhow, this was better than a Happy Meal. Altair was nipping on his coke, Malik had ordered himself a lager. Maybe not that much better than a Happy Meal.

  
  


“So...”, Altair eventually said and leaned back in his chair, pushing up his glasses.

  
  


Malik sighed. “You do realize this won't work, right?” Better cut to the topic right away as to get Altair's hopes up any more further than he already did. He watched how Altair's shoulders slumped a little. Malik thought he looked pretty much average for his age. Skin just as dark as his hair, lean but not skinny with wide shoulders and a pair of bright curious eyes. He didn't look _that_ young either but Malik made sure to keep some distance in between them – he didn't want people to get the idea they were dating and he knew he was prejudice with that.

  
  


Altair's lips turned into a grim line and the little scar made his mouth look lopsided – Malik wondered where he'd gotten it from. “I'm nineteen, not nine”, Altair said eventually. “I'm old enough to know what I want-” He cut himself off and somehow, Malik found it just a little amusing. But then again, Altair had told him numerous times already that he wanted Malik – even though it was meant in more of a sexual way. He doubted that was the case now.

  
  


“Tell me what you're doing,” Malik said, completely ignoring Altair's words. It made the boy look up at him, surprised. “Huh?”

  
  


“Tell me what you're doing, what you're plans are,” Malik continued and made an welcoming gesture with his hand.

  
  


“Does it matter?”, Altair asked like a petulant child. “This won't work anyway”, he quoted Malik.

  
  


Malik sighed and he leaned forwards on his arms, playing with the napkin on the table. “That's exactly what I meant”, he hissed quietly. “You're still going to school, most likely, in one or two years you graduate and then what? Move across the country to take a job? Or maybe take a sabbatical year, wandering through India or Australia?” Because he remembered Altair telling him once how he'd like to do something like that in the future. He leaned heavily back. “I've already established my life Altair. I have a good job, my own place, my own money. I have settled. What do you have?”

  
  


He watched Altair thinking, his jaw moving as if he was about to say something but every time he opened his mouth he closed it right away until finally, “You make it sound more complicated than it has to Malik. Couldn't we just see what'll happen over the next few months instead of making a lifetime commitment already?”

  
  


Malik shook his head, “That's it. That's exactly what I mean. I'm not as young as you anymore. I'm not looking for 'just fun' like you do,” he said and made little quotation marks in the air. “I _do_ look for a lifetime commitment. I'm tired of first dates and break ups. I want the real thing.” He paused a moment. “And I'm sure you're the one not able to give me that.”

  
  


“But you've thought differently when we were still talking on Skype,” Altair said stubbornly.

  
  


“Maybe”, Malik said eventually, “but I've wanted to meet you first to make that decision. And I was right about that, for obvious reasons,” he noted and looked Altair up and down.

  
  


Altair leaned back when the waiter brought his food, a small plate of shrimps and fried squid rings with lemon and garlic.

  
  


“You don't know that,” Altair muttered and lifted his fork, picking uninterested at his food. “But- I mean we've talked for the last six months to each other and I- I feel like I owe you a first date. A real first date and-” He blew up his cheeks again and picked up a shrimp, blowing the air across it so it would cool down faster. “Let's just have one. One real date and then, you can still go back to your own life and I can turn back to mine...” His voice grew smaller and smaller towards the end of the sentence.

  
  


Malik narrowed his eyes, staring at Altair's food and then back up at the boy. He guessed he could do that – and yes, he guessed he deserved a real date with Altair, too. Even though he already knew the ending of it, them going separate ways but- Yes. They've talked to each for such a long time and Malik knew quite a bit about Altair that it felt right to end things with some mutual respect.

  
  


“Okay,” he nodded. “You can have your date.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

Malik was late and he hated being late. He'd hastily put on his jacket, it was a bit chilly this morning but half of it still hung down his shoulder while he was trying not to spill his coffee he was holding in one hand with a bagel between his teeth as he kicked the door shut with his foot. He was supposed to be at work ten minutes ago and he had a customer this morning. So yeah, shit was going down today and it didn't really help that his phone hadn't stopped buzzing almost all morning. It took about two train stations, a burnt mouth from drinking too hot coffee and half a bagel -because the other half fell to the ground while taking the first bite- before he even fumbled his phone out of his pocket. Alright, Kadar seriously had to calm the fuck down, twelve unread messages where just too much!

  
  


He opened his WhatsApp, reading through Kadar's chat.

  
  


'Heyyyyyyyy!!'

'You didn't call me last night like you promised so...'

'How did it go?'

  
  


'Aw come on now man, don't do this to your most favorite brother! Tell me all the juicy details!'

'Okay you know what, forget about the juicy details, I don't want to picture my brother having sex but still... give me all the details!'

  
  


'I mean, just assuming you've had a good time yesterday...'

'But you didn't call so I think you did :D'

  
  


'You did, didn't you? :D'

  
  


'-.-'

  
  


'Alright I think you're doing this on purpose now'

'Just tell me how it went'

  
  


'Malik!'

  
  


Malik sighed and closed the chat but kept holding his phone against his chest, thinking while looking out of the window watching how the streets and houses passed by as the train brought him further into urban canyons. Eventually he looked down at the lit screen again.

  
  


'Not now, I'm late for work', was all he wrote and just as he'd sent the message he saw how Kadar came online, read through the message and typed an answer almost immediately.

  
  


'I knew you wouldn't break up with him :D'

  
  


It made Malik roll his eyes. 'Really? How would you know? I didn't tell you anything yet.'

  
  


':D'

'Yepp, you didn't tell me anything yet but there IS something to tell :D'

  
  


Oh that smug bastard. 'Later. Work now.'

  
  


';D'

  
  


It was the last text he got from Kadar and he hoped he wouldn't crush his brother's hopes but... he would just have to wait for the evening. To be honest, Malik needed probably a few hours to figure out just what had happened yesterday night. The whole memory left a bitter aftertaste in his mouth, reminding him of bile. He shook the thought off when his station came up and he got off the train, walking the last ten minutes to his working place. He'd only gotten the job nine months ago and while Malik knew his boss wouldn't rip him a new one for coming too late into work, it still wasn't something he planned doing on a regular basis. He hated being late, it meant breaking a promise.

  
  


The parlour was already open when he got there, of course – they'd opened almost an hour ago. Usually, Malik liked to prepare his working place before meeting his first costumer, getting everything right and prepared but today it seemed he would have to try extra hard on his charm since his costumer would have to wait. The ink wouldn't prepare itself.

  
  


“I know, I know”, he said once he entered through the door; since the store had already opened there really was no need for him to use the back door. “I'm late.”

  
  


There were three of them working here. Rauf, Maria and Malik. Maria and Rauf owned the store, Malik was their first and so far only employee after they had opened the parlour just one year ago. Malik thought it was the best place he'd ever worked at.

  
  


“You're first one is about to come in... ten minutes”, Rauf said head close above a draft he was currently working on – Malik knew exactly which one, Rauf had been occupied with it since two days now, the damn thing driving him crazy since he wanted it to be perfectly _perfect_.

  
  


“No shit”, he said as he took off his jacket while walking over to his spot. “Is there already some coffee?” He'd rather liked to offer some to his costumer.

  
  


“Maria made some”, Rauf hummed and nodded towards their back room without really looking at it. “Follow the smell.”

  
  


Maria was sitting at the small table in their kitchen when Malik entered and the kitchen pretty much was the back room, there was a restroom too but... that's really about it. She looked up at him with tired eyes. “You're late”, she said but there was no blaming. She sounded rather tiredly, her fingers wrapped around the coffee mug standing in front of her, steam rising from it.

  
  


“I know”, Malik said with a roll of his eyes and prepared a small tray; a cup, some cream, sugar and last but not least, he added a small coffee pot. He'd have to cook new one soon, he knew that Maria never went under three cups in the morning. “I-” He cut himself off, re-arranging the items on the tray and played with the little sugar box, thinking about what he'd say next. “Had some troubles starting this morning.”

  
  


Maria yawned. “That's the second time... don't let it become a habit.” And both Maria and Malik knew, this was as much of acting like a boss as Maria could do – but she was right. He shook his head, “No.”

  
  


Maria rested her chin in her hand, looking up at Malik with a tired, lazy smile. “Rough night, eh?”

  
  


He sent her a small glare over his shoulder while picking up the tray, “So so.”

  
  


Maria leaned back as she stretched her arms above her head, it looked as if she was about to melt off her chair. Her head fell back and her eyes were closed. “Alright, not in the mood for talking”, she said and cracked one eye open, a mischievous smirk crossing her lips. “But did you think about my idea?”

  
  


Oh. Wow. No, he actually hadn't since Altair occupied most of his mind. “Uhm, no”, he said slowly.

  
  


“But you're not entirely against it?”, Maria pondered and got off her chair with a sigh and followed Malik outside where he placed the tray near his work place and then sat down in his chair starting on the ink. “No”, Malik said and pushed his glasses up his nose, looking up when the door to their parlous opened, girl entering. Alright. That was his appointment.

  
  


“We talk about it later”, Maria said with a pat to his shoulder and went over to her table, starting her working day as well.

  
  


“Hi”, Malik said with a smile and got up, rubbed his hands against his pants and offered her a shake. “You're ready to get your boy underneath your skin today?”, he asked because yes, he'd specialized in tattooing portraits and yes, he was damn fucking good at it. She smiled and Malik remembered her name was Sarah, mother of a six-year-old boy and about to deploy. When she'd come to him the first time to talk about all the details, she'd told him she wanted to take her boy with her, everywhere, always.

  
  


Sarah nodded, wearing that huge smile all of his costumers wore when they were about to get their ink done. “Yes I am”, she said cheerfully and Malik nodded.

  
  


“Great”, he said and sat down on his chair, rolling a bit a side. “Take a seat and if you want to, have some coffee. I'm going to wrap this up so we can start in a bit.” This was great about work, it took his mind off of Altair if only for a few hours and right now, he needed that more than most. Damn kid. He just wished he could turn back time and make a different decision than the one he'd made last night.

 


	7. Chapter 7

  
  


  
  


“All done, we can go now.” Maria looked up with a bride smile, taking her jacket and threw it over her shoulders with the keys in her hand. “Rauf and I talked this morning about getting a beer after work – you're coming too?”, she asked as she locked the door, Malik standing next to Rauf with hands shoved deep down his pockets. His fingers were wrapped around his phone, he hadn't looked at it all day long but he knew he'd gotten quite a few messages. He should go home, get to talk to Altair and tell him to forget everything about what Malik had told him yesterday.

  
  


He shook his head, slowly. “I think I rather go home-” He felt how Rauf put his hand onto his shoulder, keeping him from talking any further. “Your cat won't starve if you feed him a bit later”, Rauf smirked. “But a beer with your friends won't hurt you either.”

  
  


Malik pressed his lips tightly together, his hand finding his neck. “I really don't know”, he said in a pressed voice.

  
  


“Come on”, Rauf with a clasp to his back. “Whatever it is that troubles your mind, it can wait. Grant yourself a bit of a good time for once, Malik.”

  
  


Malik sighed heavily and looked up into the pink sky. It wasn't that he didn't like going out – he _did_ but he didn't like doing it often and he especially didn't like it when something was occupying his mind, like he had the feeling he needed to be somewhere else but, “Alright”, he said and he heard how Maria cheered a little. “I come with you.”

  
  


“Great”, she said and hooked her arm around his, “we can talk more about the tattoo I wanna get done on you.”

  
  


“I though about it today”, Malik said as they started walking down the streets. “I think- yeah, I mean yes. You can do it.”

  
  


Maria gasped loudly next to him. “Really?”

  
  


“It's not like as if I don't want to have another one. My back looks pretty empty so far-”

  
  


“Good choice my man”, Rauf chuckled and pulled out one of those bad smelling cigarillos, lighting it up. “You have one of the best getting underneath your skin”, he said with a lopsided smirk and nodded towards Maria, breathing out the smoke through his nose. It smelled a little sweet.

  
  


“You could be our living display”, Maria said grinning but Malik didn't feel like laughing and only offered her a quick glance.

  
  


“Maybe”, he said and he listened to Maria's and Rauf's chatting as they walked towards their destination, a small pub they already had been to two or three times. He would probably enjoy this much more if that little voice in his head would finally shut up about him calling Altair already.

  
  


xxx

  
  


“Why are you in such a bad mood?”, Maria asked when she finished her second beer.

  
  


“I didn't think I was in a bad mood today”, Malik said with a confused frown and watched how Maria waved her hand in front of him. “Not really a bad mood but you seem like... a thousand miles away with your thoughts”, she corrected herself. “So?”

  
  


Malik looked down into his glass. It was his first beer still and it was only half gone. He rubbed his face and Rauf was sitting to his right, he felt his gaze heavy on him. He thought about telling them, he really did but when he opened his mouth it felt like as if his throat was closing up, making him mute. He swallowed the words back down. “I have to be more drunk for that”, he said instead.

  
  


“Now, that we can change my friend”, Rauf said. “Another one?” He pointed his empty bottle at Malik with one arched eyebrow. He waved his hand at Rauf, not as if he had a say in this. But it wouldn't really hurt anyway and he was a bit tired of worrying about too many things – basically, those things were pretty much Altair alone.

  
  


“I'm a bit concerned Malik”, Maria said after he and Rauf had gotten their new beers, the waitress smiling at them and Malik had had the feeling she was leaning a bit too low just so he had a good view at her cleavage, but whatever. “The last few months you've had been in such a good mood, every time I went into the restroom after you I've thought I'd find a fucking rainbow coming out of the toilet there. And now you look more like the Grinch when you come into work”, she huffed and scrunched her nose.

  
  


“Personal stuff happening, that's all.”

  
  


“Personal stuff you don't want to discuss with us, alright”, Rauf said and he lifted his beer at Malik before taking a sip. Rauf thought so, but Maria clearly didn't.

  
  


“If it affects your work, maybe you _should_ discuss it with us”, she insisted.

  
  


Malik frowned at her, then pulled his face into a confused mask. “It doesn't affect my work”, he simply said but Maria pointed one finger at him.

  
  


“It does”, she said. “You came in late today.”

  
  


“Yeah what a crime... and I came in late before.”

  
  


“We're talking about today”, she said and wow, she actually sounded a tiny bit like a boss now. She pointed her finger at Malik, “So what is it now?”

  
  


Just as he was about to open his mouth, Malik got a call and as he looked at the ID knew he couldn't ignore it, not this time at least – or maybe that's what he wanted to tell himself so he wouldn't have to answer Maria. He made an apologizing gesture towards her and answered the call. “Hey.”

  
  


“Mom wants you to come for dinner.” Okay, his little brother was seriously angry with him – probably because Malik had ignored all of his messages all day long. He rose an eyebrow and looked at his watch. “What, why?”

  
  


He heard Kadar sigh over the phone, “Dinner's ready at eight, don't be late.” And then he hung up, just like that.

  
  


“What was that about?”, Maria wondered out loud and Malik couldn't stop frowning. “I have no idea”, he said. “But I'm invited for dinner so I-” He looked at the time again, “I have to go in a bit.” God, saved by his brother – he hadn't thought that day would ever come.

  
  


xxx

  
  


“I don't smell food”, Malik said once Kadar had pulled him inside.

  
  


“Mom and dad went out for dinner”, he said and as soon as he saw the sour look on Malik's face, he added “Oh come on now, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to talk to you! I had to take actions!”

  
  


“Fuck you”, he said and made to get back out of the apartment but Kadar went quickly in front of him, holding one arm up. “No”, he said and shook his head. “But I did actually made dinner-”

  
  


“You only make me wanna leave more”, Malik groaned.

  
  


“It's good, really. I hope. I mean... I tried”, Kadar said with a shrug of his shoulders. He gnawed on his bottom lip and then looked up at his brother with big pleading eyes. “Come on, stay for dinner... please?”

  
  


Malik groaned and reached around Kadar to shut the door. “Alright, yes. Okay.”

  
  


“Good”, Kadar said, all cheerful now and he turned around heading towards their parent's big kitchen. “I made pizza.”

  
  


“Are you kidding me?”, Malik grunted as he followed his brother like a kicked puppy. “I'm going to kill you some day.”

  
  


“I swear I didn't have any intentions when I made it”, Kadar hummed, still cheerful as he opened the oven and pulled out a sheet with a rather large pizza on it, topped with what looked a ton of cheese. He quickly cut it up and pulled a pair of plates out of the shelves above his head. “But I agree it might look like it”, he said with a grin. “I bet my pizza isn't better than the one your delivery boy has to offer. Probably has better sausage on it...” Oh that sounded so _dirty_ and it made Malik groan load and long and bury his face into his hands, letting go of a pitiful whine. “You do realize it's your brother's sex life you're so interested in?”

  
  


Kadar waved his hand at him as he was serving the pizza, “Yeah yeah sort of. I try to ignore it most of the times.”

  
  


“Is your life really that boring?” Malik rested his chin on his hand.

  
  


“It's pretty interesting, thank you very much”, Kadar replied before turning around to place their food onto the table. “So. Did you try his sausage or not?”

  
  


Malik almost choked on his own tongue and he couldn't really reply to that, it just was... too much, so instead, he pressed his lips tightly together and stared at the table in front of him. He hoped if he just wouldn't say anything, Kadar might finally drop it – but Kadar wouldn't be Kadar if he did. “Why- whywhywhy, what is it?” Kadar looked at him with big eyes; and then it dawned on him and he had this huge grin on his face Malik wanted to wipe off. “Oh”, his brother said, smug smirk playing on his lips. “You totally slept with him.”  


	8. Chapter 8

  
_xxx_

  
  


“So you're a tattoo artist?”

  
  


“You know I'm a tattoo artist Altair”, Malik sighed and drowned the last of his beer in one go.

  
  


“I know but I thought that's what you ask on a first date”, he said with a helpless little smile on his lips. “I've thought of getting one myself, maybe”, he added in a smaller voice next and it made Malik rose his brows.

  
  


He leaned on his arms, Altair still had a bit of his coke left. “A tattoo? Really?” He honestly thought Altair didn't look like the type for it. A grin was born on his face. “What kind?” He watched how Altair shrugged with his shoulders. “I don't know”, he said. “Maybe my zodiac sign?” He looked helpless when he watched the emotions playing across Malik's face. “On my wrist?”, he added and Malik groaned loudly.

  
  


“Yes and get what everybody else has”, Malik muttered and shook his head. “What story does your zodiac sign have?”

  
  


Altair blinked. “How do you mean?”, he asked confused.

  
  


Malik made a little waving motion with his hand and shifted in his seat. “Is there a special story behind it?”

  
  


Altair shook his head. “No?”

  
  


“I mean... In all honesty Altair, you can get whatever you want. And if it's your zodiac sign or a tribal tattoo like a million other people have, so be it. But-” Malik lifted his finger. “- I personally think to give it a bit of a more thought... That tattoo's going to be there on your skin for the rest of your life. You'll live with it till the day you die.” He shook his head. “It's a commitment, that's all I want to say.”

  
  


Altair listened to every word he said and Malik couldn't stop but notice how his eyes moved to his tattoos every now and then. And eventually he said it, “So what's the story behind yours?”

  
  


Malik smiled although it looked empty and the look in his eyes grew a bit distant. “The Phoenix I got after I've had an accident which almost cost me my arm.” He heard how Altair whistled lowly. “After my accident everything pretty much changed. Before that, I didn't really know where I wanted to be, _who_ I wanted to be you know? I got my life back together, started working on my career, got my own place made my own money. I felt like new born. So in the end... I didn't really have to think about what to get for my first tattoo. It was pretty obvious it had to be a Phoenix.”

  
  


“That makes sense”, Altair nodded and he smiled. “It's also a hell of a story.”

  
  


“Told you so”, Malik said with a smirk.

  
  


“And what about the other one?”

  
  


“I love owls”, Malik said and Altair looked at him as if to say 'What? That's it?'. “And I love them so much that when I was a kid my father would take me to the zoo every Saturday. He did that for years and we didn't even go anywhere else, we headed straight for owls, always. Now that I think back to it, my father must have been bored out of his mind to stand there every Saturday and look at the owls with me.” Malik shook his head, smiling widely. “Sometimes he took Kadar with us as well but he grew bored pretty fast so in the end, it was always just the two of us.” Damn, he'd loved those Saturdays as a kid... He'd loved the time he'd been able to spend with his father.

  
  


“That's actually a pretty damn cute story”, Altair said with a grin. “If you were straight the ladies would be all over you.”

  
  


“What, you say it doesn't work on you?” Malik looked at him surprised, then his eyes narrowed as he smirked. “It so does work on you.” It'd be a lie if Malik said he didn't feel a bit triumphal when he saw the blush on Altair's cheeks.

  
  


“Maybe, a bit”, Altair nodded eventually. “So do you still go there?”

  
  


“Go where?”

  
  


“The zoo. To look at the owls”, he explained.

  
  


“Haven't been there for years”, Malik admitted with a shake of his head. He watched how Altair picked at a crumble on the table, playing with it before flicking his finger against it, sending it flying across the table and onto the floor. “You must have loved Harry Potter then.”

  
  


“I was too old for Harry Potter when it came out”, Malik hummed.

  
  


There was a small pause before Altair sighed heavily. “Maybe we should go to the zoo some day then”, Altair muttered, eyes still set onto the table as if he didn't dare to meet Malik's gaze. As if he was afraid – and maybe, he was right about that.

  
  


It made Malik's heart sink to the bottom of his stomach. That little offer brought him right back to reality. Just a few moments ago he would have even dared to say that- that yes, he was having a damn good time. “Altair”, he said and there was so much pity in his voice it even made himself feel sick.

  
  


“No don't you 'Altair' me”, Altair said and it made Malik smile because it was a rather silly thing to say. He startled though when Altair took his hand, he hadn't expected something like that and he looked up.

  
  


“We're having fun, don't we?” Altair looked at him with those big hopeful eyes. He wondered if it were Altair's glasses that made them look so bright or if they really were that color. Malik found himself in a pickle. Both him and Altair would know he was lying should he say they weren't having a good time – but if he admitted to the truth, he felt as if he would open a door with a path behind he didn't dare to follow. Instead he looked down at their joined hands, sighing heavily.

  
  


“Altair”, he said again not knowing what else he should have said. But when he looked up again, he knew he was doomed.

  
  


xxx

  
  


“So?”

  
  


“So what?” Malik turned his head when Kadar handed him a beer, it as a bit slippery since it came straight from the fridge and condensed water was already forming on the smooth glass.

  
  


“How was it?”, Kadar said as he sat down heavily onto the couch next to him.

  
  


“You honestly don't want to know about your brother's sex life”, Malik muttered and took a first sip.

  
  


“I don't wanna know the details but I'd still like to know”, Kadar said with one of his bright grins. “You're going to see him again?”

  
  


“One question at a time”, Malik reminded him and stared blankly at the black TV in front of them, watching his and Kadar's vague reflection.

  
  


“Why are you such a wuss?”, Kadar eventually asked then and some of his grin was gone. “I mean- a few years ago you wouldn't even have hesitated and just admit to your feel-”

  
  


“There are no feelings”, Malik said.

“Liar”, Kadar scoffed and took a sip of his own beer.

  
  


But he knew what Kadar meant. 'A few years ago' had become the term to refer to the time before his accident. He'd thought what he'd told about it to Altair had sounded pretty good but he knew, if one would look more closely at it like Kadar did, they'd see what Malik had also lost with it. He used to live in the moment back then, living from day to day to week to week and not really think about his future. Malik wouldn't say he'd been a loser back then but... he'd been more loose.

  
  


“We both know how this would have went if you had met him earlier.”

  
  


“If I would have met him earlier I would be in jail now”, Malik said and dear god, it felt so wrong even saying this.

  
  


“Alright, okay”, Kadar said with a sigh and he actually looked a bit older now. “So will you see him again then?”

  
  


Malik shrugged and played with the logo on his bottle. Thanks to the water, it started to become loose and he picked at it. “He invited me for another date next Saturday but I told him no.”

  
  


Kadar groaned loudly and threw his hands in the air as he fell back against the couch heavily. “Dear god, why? You already _slept_ with him! How could things get worse, really?”

  
  


Malik placed the bottle loudly onto the glass table in front of him, then put his elbows on his knees to lean forwards and rub his face. “Me breaking the kid's heart?”

  
  


“Fuck you, you already did”, Kadar said rather angrily and it surprised Malik for his brother to be this emotional involved. He wasn't angry though – he knew he somewhat deserved it. “I honestly don't understand why you wouldn't give him the chance”, Kadar said more quietly this time and turned to look straight at Malik.

  
  


“So if I give him the chance, then what? We maybe have a few good months, a year maybe even two together? Then I watch him move across the country for whatever he wants to do with his life while I stay behind?”

  
  


“You don't know that”, Kadar said.

  
  


“That's how it always ends”, Malik muttered a bit sourly.

  
  


“Don't you think his future plans might change when he has you in his life?”

  
  


“Dear god, no”, Malik groaned. “I'd hate myself if he'd do that. The kid should live his life – with or without me.”

  
  


“It's more without you right now”, Kadar said and rubbed his chin. He held up his hands in a defeating manner. “But hey, all I wanna say is that you don't know what lies ahead of you – dating him could be either the worst or best decision in your life.”

  
  


Malik thought for a moment and mused over the words, turned them this way and that way and tried to find the right pieces for the puzzle in his head but no matter how hard he tried, there was a picture of his future already painted in his head and no matter what he did, it wouldn't change.

  
  


“Why is it so hard for you to try it?”, Kadar asked next and when Malik didn't say anything, he leaned a bit forwards with realization. “Oh”, his brother said and Malik watched him from the corner of his eyes as he pressed his lips tightly together. “You've already made your decision...”

  
  


“I did not.”

  
  


“You told him no but-” Kadar was quiet for a moment, lips pressed tightly together as he thought. “But you want to see him again.” His expression grew softer and eventually, he smiled and his smile turned into a grin. “Oh my god you have a crush on him.”

  
  


“I don't”, Malik muttered sourly.

  
  


“You had a crush on him when you two only chatted and talked on Skype”, Kadar said triumphantly but when he saw the look on Malik's face he turned more serious. “And I can see your feelings haven't changed much – even though you found out he'd lied to you.” Kadar licked his lips and Malik was surprised his brother could be this much mature. “Come on, Malik. I mean- if you'd been in his place, meeting a great guy like you-” Oh now his brother was making up lies, he never was this nice to Malik! “- wouldn't you have lied as well?”

  
  


Malik grunted. “Maybe.”

  
  


Kadar nodded. “Maybe”, he repeated. “You know, a few years ago you've risked so much, you had so much fun in your life-”

  
  


“Are you trying to say I don't have fun anymore?”

  
  


“No but you act more like a stuffy old man.”

  
  


“I'm a tattoo artist-”

  
  


“Okay, a _cool_ stuffy old man, but still”, Kadar said with a smirk. “You hardly go out anymore, I think the highest risk you've taken the last few years was switching from light mayonnaise to normal mayonnaise.”

  
  


Malik winced a little but knew Kadar was right about it.

  
  


“You're so scared, I don't even know of what”, his brother said and took a rather large sip of his beer before staring straight into the black TV as well.

  
  


Malik sighed heavily and just reached for the remote, turning the TV on and switching to a mind-numbing channel. They didn't talk much after that and drank their beer in silence until their parents got home and Malik had a chat with them as well before going home.

  
  


He and Kadar might have not talk much more about Altair but that didn't mean his words didn't have an impact on Malik. He knew the answer though, he knew what he was scared of. But knowing the answer didn't mean it made things any easier.

 


	9. Chapter 9

  
  


'so could you stop with -not- talking to me?'

'I actually had a great time with you'

'hey!! guess what happened today? ;DDD'

'alright okay... you not answering happened today'

'malik come on'

'i swear for a guy who likes topping youre such a pussy'

'i'm getting tired of this, cal me on skype??'

'i'm sorry for the pussy part'

'actually no im not. the fuck call me malik!'

'so what youre one of those guys who comes for a fuck and then never shows up again'

'im done with you'

'no... im not im so drunk'

'drnk'

'runk'

'dammit!'

'drunk'

'i just realized i didnt type drunk wrong the first time'

'malik'

'malik'

'…'

'-.-'

'call me.'

  
  


There were more message but those were the ones Malik read through as he sat down on his sofa back home after a far too long work day. He hadn't really dared to get into WhatsApp ever since, well yes, ever since he'd promised Altair a date after he'd met him at the public swimming pool and taken him to one, ending the evening sleeping with the fucking kid – and not ever talking to him again. Great. This was not how Malik had had this planned but to be honest, he hadn't planned anything actually so maybe he was forgiven...

  
  


No. No he was not. He was an asshole.

  
  


His thumb hovered above the keyboard in his chat with Altair. The last time he'd been online was yesterday and Malik closed the chat again, turning to the conversation he'd going on with Kadar.

  
  


'Do you think if I apologize he'll go on a second date with me?'

His brother's response didn't come too late. 'wut?', and it made Malik roll his eyes.

  
  


'Altair, you idiot.'

  
  


He could practically hear Kadar's snort when he read his answer. 'dude!!' He just wanted to type something very rude when Kadar sent another text, 'dunno'.

  
  


'Are you drunk or anything?', Malik asked.

  
  


'nope. just think you've got to be fucking kidding me'

  
  


Malik frowned, 'Why?'

  
  


'you wanna go on a second date with him?? really? since your first one is only what four weeks ago?'

  
  


'maybe if he's desperate...', Kadar added.

  
  


Malik looked at his phone then had to shift his weight as TC jumped up his lap with a low purr. He thought this was getting ridiculous and he dialed Kadar's number.

  
  


“Yello”, Kadar said in a way too cheerful voice – at times Malik thought it was Kadar's special hobby to crawl underneath his skin and push him push him push him.

  
  


“I was actually asking for advice”, he said and scratched TC underneath his chin, watching how his eyes closed with delight.

  
  


“I'm sorry I didn't notice since you uh, never do that?” Kadar actually sounded surprised and Malik heard a bit of rustling on the other side of the line as if Kadar was lying in bed... or eating chips. Could be anything. Maybe it was both.

  
  


Malik rubbed his face and groaned, long and loud. “Why do you want to go on a second date with him? I've thought you felt pretty comfortable in your role of being an asshole to him”, Kadar said.

  
  


Well... maybe he deserved that one. “It was actually fun”, he said after a long pause and in an even quieter voice. “Before I screwed up.”

  
  


“Screwed up how?”

  
  


“Sleeping with him?”

  
  


“Why, was he a virgin or something?”, Kadar pondered innocently and Malik winced at that. “Stop being so interested in my sex life”, Malik groaned.

  
  


“What, you make me!”, Kadar said in a somewhat defeating tone. “You're the one telling me everything about it over and over again-”

  
  


“You've forced it out of me-”

  
  


“I did no such thing”, Kadar insisted.

  
  


“You're not being a great help here Kadar”, Malik sighed.

  
  


“I'm not trying to”, he replied smugly. “Because you know what Malik? I can't really help you on this one because I don't understand your problem. You've said you had fun, then you've panicked and ruined it and now you're too scared to call him.”

  
  


“I'm not scared-”

  
  


“Then what is it?”

  
  


There was a long pause going on between them, the silence only interrupted by TC meowing at Malik when he stopped patting him. Kadar was the one who spoke first again. “Alright”, he said and sounded a bit more friendly. “Tell me again what exactly went wrong that night”, and Malik sighed at that, trying to get his memories straight to set the puzzle back together.

  
  


  
  


_xxx_

  
  


  
  


“Who else lives here?”, Malik asked as he followed Altair into the apartment, closing the door behind him and at first noticed the smell of leftover pizza.

  
  


“Roommate and me”, Altair said and put his keys onto the kitchen table. “He's out for the night”, he said casually and took his jacket off, placing it over one of the chairs before turning left to a door leading to another room.

  
  


“Someone else too?”, Malik kept on pondering and followed Altair.

  
  


“No, just us two, why?”

  
  


Malik's eyebrows arched and he sighed very deeply. “Didn't think two people could make this much dirt”, he said straightforward and Altair turned around to him with a pout. “Hey”, he said, “It's not that bad okay? We've got other stuff to do than cleaning after all.”

  
  


“Destroying your apartment?”, Malik asked as he sat down on Altair's chair and took a look around his room. It was a small room but that was too be expected since the whole apartment seemed rather small. There was a bed, not made of course and a desk with a chair Malik was currently occupying which surprisingly didn't have any clothings draped across it. There were a few open books sitting on the desk right next to a running laptop, a few posters on the walls as well as a shelve which was bending with all the books on it.

  
  


“That's not fair”, Altair said. “You should see his room, it's way worse”, he snorted and sat down on his bed, reaching for a cable lying on the windowsill to plug his phone in. “Do you want to complain more about my place or actually get to the part why we're here?”, he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

  
  


“No”, Malik said and shook his head a little, kicking a sock across the room. “All good”, he said then looked at Altair. “I'm actually kind of curious about what you have.”

  
  


“Well I've told you it's big”, Altair hummed cheerfully. “I bet it's even bigger than yours.”

  
  


“I doubt that”, Malik huffed and leaned back with a grin on his face. “You have to show me first, boy.”

  
  


Well, he had to say, he _was_ satisfied with the fact how Altair was blushing as he fumbled with his phone and he smirked, although that smirk was gone as soon as music was playing through the speakers Altair had connected his phone with.

  
  


“That's... B.B. King”, he said as he heard the guitar starting playing.

  
  


Altair nodded, “Yep... thought we might start with something really cool. I have over a thousand tracks on here”, he added and held up his phone.

  
  


“Alright that's a bit more than I have”, Malik admitted and then, with a grin, said, “But only because I have my collection on actual LP.”

  
  


Altair scrunched his nose. “Okay, I can't beat that.”

  
  


“Told you mine is bigger”, Malik grinned.

“Not bigger just... better when you have the actual LP's”, Altair said and leaned back on his hands, the music fading off to a nice to listen to background noise.

  
  


“Better”, Malik agreed and leaned forwards with his elbows on his knees. “How come you're so much into Blues? That's a bit unusual for people your age, wouldn't you agree?”

  
  


“You've asked me that before”, Altair grinned and when he noticed the surprised look on Malik's face he started chuckling. “Getting forgetful old man? It was pretty much in the beginning when we've started writing each other.”

  
  


“Little bit more respect for your elders, boy”, and ha! There it was again, that blush creeping across Altair's cheeks. “But I'm sure you show some mercy to an old man like me and tell me again?”

  
  


He watched Altair rubbing the side of his nose, clearing his throat. “It's a silly story, really. The more I tell it the more silly it starts to sound.”

  
  


“I want to hear it anyway”, Malik said.

  
  


“It's my father's fault for showing me that movie... uhm... Blues Brothers?”

  
  


Malik laughed. “Oh I think I remember now, but please, tell your story anyway”, he said with a welcoming gesture.

  
  


“I was pretty little then, maybe around four? My dad showed it to me and I remember how I loved the music in the movie and especially the Minnie the Moocher part – had no idea what it meant back then but anyway...” Altair cleared his throat again. “I've pretty much run around with a pair of sunglasses and my dad's hat for a few weeks and drove my mother crazy because I refused to take the glasses off – even when we were having dinner.”

  
  


“Yeah Cab Calloway... that was great”, he sighed and looked up at Altair. “It's actually a really cute story.”

  
  


“Well I'm glad you think so, my friends don't.”

  
  


“Your friends probably don't have a good taste in music.”

  
  


“Well that could be true”, Altair agreed and watched how Malik got up, moving over onto Altair's bed and the mattress was squeaking underneath the additional weight. “So what else have you here?”, he pondered in a low voice and reached around Altair to pick up his phone, looking through the list of titles.

  
  


“Well that sounds good”, he muttered, half leaning on Altair and murmuring the words close to his ear. He switched to something slower, Billie Holiday playing now and her rich voice filled the room.

  
  


Malik leaned back, watching Altair closely. “I take it your father liked Blues then?”

  
  


Altair nodded. “Said it was the first music he'd heard when coming to America and that he could never let go of it.”

  
  


“Did he play himself?”, Malik pondered with honest interest and noticed how the shadows grew larger in Altair's room when he switched off the big light by leaning to his side and instead turned on the small lamp on his bedside table.

  
  


“I think he wanted to learn how to play a saxophone but he never did – too busy making money”, he explained.

  
  


“And what about you?”, Malik asked next, head cocked to one side.

  
  


“I don't play an instrument”, Altair said with a grin. “Can't say I have much the desire to play one either. I'm pretty happy with just listening to good music.”

  
  


“That's a pity”, Malik said and when Altair frowned at him, Malik took his hand making Altair startle. “You have long fingers”, he said and turned Altair's hand over, his thumb stroking across his palm. “Perfect for playing a piano or a guitar if you ask me.” He could practically hear Altair swallowing heavily, a little bit of shock washing across his face but Malik tried to ignore it. He was flirting with Altair, he knew that very well but damn it to hell, this was actually so much fun that he couldn't get himself to stop it. He let go of Altair's hand before the boy would explode on his bed. “Just saying”, Malik said with a shrug of his shoulders.

  
  


“Do you- uhm, I mean, I do remember you've told me once you can play piano?”

  
  


“I can play it, a bit but I've... well, that's a shame to admit but I've learned playing it when I was younger, then stopped playing for a whole ten years or so... I actually forgot a bit how to play it, I can only play the easy stuff now.”

  
  


“So Für Elise?”, Altair grinned and Malik sent him a glare.

  
  


“You know that's the song _everbody_ makes me play when there's a piano in the room, so no, I won't play _that_ one ever again.”

  
  


Altair pressed his lips tightly together as if in deep thought. “I'd really like to hear you play some day.”

And that was sort of a mood killer since actually, Malik hadn't really planned on seeing Altair a second time and yet... Yet he couldn't really stop himself and he smiled, “Yes, maybe we can arrange that.”

  
  


“Do you have one?”

  
  


Malik snorted. “No, I don't. I had an E-Piano once but my parents sold it after a few years of me stopping using it.”

  
  


“Aw”, Altair said and Malik watched his shoulders slump with disappointment. “I really would have wanted hearing you play.”

  
  


“We have to find a place with a piano then”, Malik said and damn it! He should stop saying this stuff! Making it sound like there'd be more dates!

  
  


Altair nodded and for a moment there was silence spreading in between them and Malik noticed how Altair started drumming his fingertips against each other as if he was nervous, the muscle in his jaw twitching as if he was about to say something. Malik looked at him closely. “What is it?”, he asked carefully.

  
  


“Nothing”, Altair said and stared at his desk, then turned his head to look out of the window and into the growing night, rubbing his palms against each other now. “What are you nervous about?”, Malik asked in a soft voice, only vaguely noticing how Billie sang something about a lost love or something.

  
  


“It's nothing”, Altair tried to convince him, watching Malik from the corner of his eye. He was such a bad liar.

  
  


“Nonsense boy”, Malik said and leaned a bit closer, pressing a finger underneath Altair's chin to make him look up. “You can tell me”, he said with a grin.

  
  


Altair took a deep breath and then it sort of... all came out. At once. “I'm having fun and I think this is really great and I've been thinking the last ten minutes how I could kiss you but then I'm too nervous to just do that and I keep thinking about what happens when you deny me and how I'd feel, that I'd make a fool out of myself and I really don't want to ruin this and-”

  
  


Now, _that_ was the Altair Malik remembered from their chats, blabbering along with no pauses in between, just saying what's on his mind without thinking too much about it. “Then just do it”, he said and he could have bitten his own tongue off for saying that.

  
  


Altair looked at him, surprised. “What?”

  
  


“What are you waiting for?”, Malik said not able to stop himself and he was beating himself up inside his head but didn't let anything show to the outside from his inner tumult.

  
  


Altair looked at him, his mouth opening and closing like a fish on land gasping for air.

  
  


“You know what”, Malik said and he scooted just a bit closer, “Why don't you let me take the first stepp?”, he asked while one arm came around Altair's neck and just like that, he pulled him in for a kiss and forgot all about his good resolutions.

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

When Malik pulled away he noticed the flushed face, the slightly parted lips and the dreamy look in Altair's eyes and he knew this was bad but... That kiss had felt really nice and to be honest, he'd wanted to do it for a really long time now.

  
  


His hand rested comfortable on Altair's neck, his thumb moving back and forth across the smooth skin, playing with the short hair there. “Feel better now?”, he asked and couldn't hide the grin on his lips, not when he knew it was _him_ who made Altair feel like this, made him look like this. That thought was just too damn satisfying.

  
  


He heard Altair stutter, “Uh... yeah I mean- yes, a little...” He cleared his throat and rubbed his palms down his pants. “Yes I do”, he said after a thick swallow.

  
  


Malik thought for a moment as he watched Altair closely. The kid looked stunned but happy, mildly embarrassed but happy, nervous yes very much but _happy_ and Malik? He felt smug, _happy_ and he wanted to take this all the way, no detour nothing just... make Altair his. “What else do you have on that phone of yours, mh?”, he murmured and leaned around Altair once more, taking the cell from him, strategically placing both arms around Altair's waist and held the phone in front of him, his chin resting on the kid's shoulder. Malik knew the kiss had just been a warm up, and he realized it then when he felt the soft tremble underneath him, that he could get everything he wanted from Altair tonight. He knew it was unfair, he was on a much higher ground than Altair and yet he couldn't stop himself from acting out on it. Who was he kidding? He'd wanted Altair for a really long time now, they'd had so much fun, he was a good listener and Malik had missed the days on which he'd come home and the first thing he'd done was chatting Altair up on Skype, telling him all about his day. He missed the familiarity between them, he missed the comforting feeling of having somebody who accepted him just the way he was.

  
  


So fuck this. Fuck the kid's age, he's legal and that's all Malik really needed to know.

  
  


He switched the music to a low and slow song, no lyrics just music. The soft swings of the instruments, the low tune of the piano fitted the mood perfectly and Malik leaned back and placed the phone in Altair's lap but kept his arms where they were. “Your roommate's out for the night?”, he asked again and Altair nodded, his adam's apple bobbing when he swallowed.

  
  


“Yeah he's out”, and he sounded uncertain, maybe a bit confused and then he asked what Malik had hoped wouldn't come at all, “What is this Malik?”

  
  


“It's us having a good time I'd guess”, Malik hummed although he knew all too well what Altair really meant and when he watched the kid opening his mouth again, he spoke first and quickly cut him off, “And I'd suggest for us to... enjoy it for now.” It was pretty much an invitation and Malik held his breath, waiting for Altair's decision, his answer without showing how nervous he was himself.

  
  


He thought it took Altair forever to answer but eventually he did. He nodded at first, then cocked his head to one side and his glasses fell down his nose, Altair pushed them back up using one finger. “Alright”, he said and he still sounded nervous as hell. “We should make use of the time we have after all”, and Malik agreed to that but he thought first..., first he should do something about Altair and the nervous tremble shaking his whole body. “Come here now”, he offered as he pulled Altair back against his chest, changing some of his weight and position so he found a comfortable spot on Altair's bed with the kid resting against him. Altair felt as stiff as a puppet in his arms. “You're nervous, I would have never thought you're the nervous type of guy”, Malik muttered close to Altair's ear. “You've been so cocky on Skype all the time and now I find you're quite the opposite in real life.”

  
  


“Skype's different”, Altair said and he went stiff when Malik just placed his flat palm on his stomach, keeping it there. “How's it different?”, Malik asked him in a low voice, the music still playing.

  
  


“I'm... more in control?”, Altair asked and that made Malik rise one elegant eyebrow.

  
  


“Really? More in control?”

  
  


“I know what's happening and now I... have no idea how this will end”, Altair admitted eventually and that made perfectly sense to Malik. He'd wanted to avoid this but realized he had to ask the question.

  
  


“How far do you want this to go Altair?” It might sound stupid but it was important knowledge Malik would rather find out now than later – especially when Altair's answer was different than what Malik had in mind.

  
  


“I wouldn't mind if this goes all the way-”

  
  


Yes! Malik made a little victory dance in his head.

  
  


“-but I haven't done this very often so I'm... unsure what to do here”, Altair finished and Malik's excitement went a little down but not away.

  
  


“We can work on that”, he assured him, his hand moving away from Altair's stomach and all the way up to his shoulder, squeezing it in a reassuring way. “We go slow, let you ease into it and I'm sure after a while you just pick back up on it”, he muttered with a grin to Altair's ear.

  
  


So. Sex hadn't really been on Malik's mind when he'd left earlier to meet Altair down at the beach. He'd thought he'd meed the kid, talk to him and then their paths would separate. Obviously, his plan hadn't worked well. He'd taken Altair to dinner, they've had a pretty good time and eventually, their conversation had turned to music with Altair offering Malik to show him his collection – now Malik was sure this has been as much of a bold move as Malik massaging Altair's shoulder right now. Altair had his music on his phone, even if it was true and Altair had really wanted to show it to him, he wouldn't have needed to bring Malik over for that.

  
  


“So tell me what you want”, Malik said, his voice low and even, a bit husky as well.

  
  


He thought it wasn't that bad of a question but Altair groaned loudly and he tried to wriggle his way out of Malik's arms; at first he didn't let him but eventually let go of Altair so he could stand up, cheeks blushing and he took off his glasses, cleaning them with the hem of his shirt looking everywhere but at Malik. “What, what is it?”, Malik pondered.

  
  


“You sure like to talk a lot”, Altair said in a pressed voice and moved his weight from one foot to the other, lifted his glasses to look through them to see if there was any dirt left. Malik knew they were perfectly clean, Altair knew they were perfectly clean as well yet he continued to use his shirt on them. “I mean I've never been with anybody who-” But Altair cut himself off by biting down his lip.

  
  


“So? I just try to make this more comfortable for you. You-” Malik's brows rose high. “I hadn't thought you were kidding when you've told me you haven't done this in a while but... it really is a while ago isn't it?”

  
  


“Why would you think that?” Altair tried to sound casual but his tone was a bit snappy and he put his glasses back on and now didn't know what to do with his hands so instead rubbed them down his pants again.

  
  


“Well for starters... there's an almost empty bottle of lube next to your bed”, Malik said and couldn't hide the growing grin. “And secondly, clean behind your bed once in a while boy! Way too many used tissues there...”

  
  


“What?” Altair's voice almost sounded like a squeaky toy for a dog did. “When- when did you see?” His blush was so bad now it had reached the tips of his ears.

  
  


“Wasn't really hard to spot when I went for your phone. But honestly, Altair”, Malik said and wiped his lips with his thumb. “I can go if you want me to.” Although he hoped Altair would say no to his. He really really hoped.

  
  


“No”, Altair said in a whisper and shook his head and Malik felt as if a huge ton was just lifted off his shoulders.

  
  


“Alright, okay”, Malik nodded and leaned a bit forwards, elbows on his knee again and drummed his fingers together. He looked up at Altair who was still standing in the middle of his room, a bit lost. “Let's try this again. What do you want?”

  
  


Eventually Altair glanced at him over the rim of his glasses, the light of the lamp reflecting in them and making it impossible for Malik to see his eyes. He opened his mouth, then closed it again and he pressed his lips hard together. Malik simply waited. “Can I see your tattoos?”, Altair asked in the end and Malik knew the boy would have never managed to ask Malik to simply strip – thank god he had tattoos Altair liked to see, huh? Otherwise the boy would have needed to come up with a pretty good reason for Malik to take his shirt off – and right now it seemed Altair wasn't doing really good on the thinking part.

  
  


Malik offered Altair a lopsided grin. “Yeah, sure you can”, he said and sat a little straight, unbuttoning his shirt – he was glad he'd decided against a tie. It might not seem like it but he was also nervous. Maybe not as much as Altair who acted more like a virgin, but still nervous. He took off the shirt, then grabbed the wife beater he wore underneath it to pull it over his head and placed it next to him onto the bed as well. He held out his arms, turning them to each side for Altair to see who was in fact actually looking. Malik stood eventually and took a step towards Altair, the kid's eyes trying to stay on the pictures carved underneath his skin for eternity, yet they roamed all over his body every now and then. “Have you ever thought of getting one yourself?”

  
  


Altair shook his head, a thin film of sweat standing on his brow. “Not... not really, I mean- I've nothing against them-”

  
  


“Oh that's good for me then, isn't it?”, Malik said and he could hear the song switching again, Altair's phone set on shuffle but this one was just as lazy and slow as the other one had before. It was a bit dark, maybe, but Malik didn't mind. “I'm thinking about getting another one.” Altair looked up, his eyes finally meeting Malik's. “You do? Where?”, he asked.

  
  


“Here”, Malik muttered and before Altair could escape or do anything about it, he grabbed the kid's hand and placed his palm flat on his left ribcage. Malik could say he'd just fried all which was left of Altair's brain. It was amusing a bit, how a look of pure shock and horror washed across Altair's face and then was replaced of something so much more... shameless. Altair's eyes went from wide to narrowed, that much Malik could see and Altair's jaw went tense the muscles on the side twitching. “I've thought of a prayer my grandfather used to tell me when I was a little kid”, Malik muttered in a husky voice. “He died long before my accident but when I was in the hospital, the prayer would often return into my mind and I could hear my grandfather's voice speaking it”, he added and closed the gap between them, his chest almost touching Altair's now.

  
  


Altair had to look up from this close proximity and Malik watched how he licked across his dry lips. “Really?”, he asked and Altair's voice sounded weak and Malik had the vaguely idea Altair might not have even really listened to him.

  
  


“Yes, really”, Malik said, half a grin on his lips but it vanished as soon as he leaned down. He closed the gap in between them as his hand came up, cupping one side of Altair's head to kiss him again, pushing his leg in between Altair's and Malik knew, this wouldn't be the last time he made Altair lose his ground tonight.

 


	11. Chapter 11

  
  


Altair rose on his toes, his weight leaning into Malik's own body – this was as much of a move as he's done all night, he didn't really take the lead but he responded to Malik with more than just keen interest. This was wanton. Malik felt the boy's fingers curling above his skin, then gripping him tighter before he broke away, gasping for air. “You're not as shy as I'd have thought”, Malik said with a smirk and he was satisfied when he watched Altair's ear turning red. The most delightful little pout crept along his face, his brow wrinkling and lips getting thin.

  
  


“I'm... really not shy”, he said and if the situation would have been different Malik would have laughed out loud. He refrained from reaching out to ruffle Altair's hair.

  
  


“I remember you telling me on Skype how much you 'wanted the D'”, Malik smirked and made little quotation marks in the air. “And how many times you've jerked off thinking about getting it from me”, he added with a purr. “All gone now?”

  
  


Altair looked almost angry at him but at the same time, he pushed a little closer still and well, if that was doing the trick for Altair to loosen up a bit, Malik would gladly push him more. “I've told you that was different”, Altair said and it made Malik chuckle, loud and clear.

  
  


“It wasn't Altair, you- you were acting like a horny teenager most of the times which I see is true now”, Malik laughed and when he saw the look in Altair's eyes he leaned in close to place a small kiss onto his lips. “It's almost cute.”

  
  


Altair huffed at him, “I wasn't trying to be cute you know?”

  
  


“Oh so you were trying to be all manly with blushing so much, mh?”, Malik teased him. Again he could see how Altair pressed his lips tightly together. “Tell you what boy”, Malik hummed at him and he could see goosebumps flash up across his arms. “I give you permission to come and get what you want... how about that?” He placed his hand on top of Altair's which was still resting on his ribcage and pushed it a bit further down towards his belt.

  
  


It was the moment Malik realized he was maybe more desperate for this than Altair – he wondered if Altair was smart enough to realize Malik was silently, sort of, begging him. Well, not begging him but... No. No. He was totally begging Altair to get him laid. He just did it in a way Altair would hopefully not notice.

  
  


Altair sighed deeply then pulled his hand free from Malik, rubbed the back of his neck and took a step back – well, that was disappointing. “Okay okay I- do you want something to drink? Because I want something to drink”, he stuttered and looked around his room as if he was looking for something, then back at Malik. “Water? Beer? I think Ezio has some beer left”, he babbled along and rubbed his palms against his pants, _again,_ then practically fled the small room to roam in the kitchen.

  
  


Malik blinked confused then slumped down heavily on Altair's bed. At times he thought this was a different Altair from who he'd talked to the last couple of months. But then again he'd always known Altair had a really really big mouth and sometimes couldn't stand behind all the big words of his. It was amusing. It was also amusing because before they came to Altair's apartment the boy had been perfectly fine but now he seemed as if he was about to get a nervous breakdown the closer Malik got to him. He wondered at what point the tables had turned like that.

  
  


When Altair returned he pushed a can into Malik's hand, unopened. “Is that your roommates?”, he asked as Altair sat down on the bed next to him. He nodded,

  
  


“It's his, yes.” Altair had gotten himself one too.

  
  


“You're not twenty one yet”, Malik noted in a matter of fact tone. Not that he really cared, kid could do whatever the hell he wanted.

  
  


“Nope.” Altair shook his head and opened the can with a small sizzle. “Ezio isn't either.” He lifted the can to his lips and took a few rather large gulps of it.

  
  


Malik shrugged and opened his own – it didn't taste bad but it wasn't good either. He personally preferred bottled beer but cans were cheaper and Altair was still going to school so he was forgiven. Altair turned on his side and snatched his phone up – he turned it a tad quieter and placed it back onto the windowsill and settled comfortable in his bed, back against the wall beer can balanced on his lap. “You really want to get a prayer on your ribs?”, he asked after a moment, eyes closed and Malik thought he sounded a lot calmer now. He joined Altair on the bed and leaned his head against the wall as well.

  
  


“Thought about it for a week or two now-”

  
  


“A week or two. If I'd ever get a tattoo I think I'd spend a year or two thinking about it before I'd get one”, he snorted.

  
  


“When I want something I pretty much don't wait too long and just get it”, Malik said with a smirk.

  
  


“I'm surprised you didn't give up on me then.”

  
  


“Why?” Malik turned his head.

  
  


“Must have been frustrating for you”, Altair murmured. “Wanting me and then I keep running away from you...”

  
  


Malik chose to ignore the part about 'wanting Altair' – it was true, but he didn't want it to be that obvious towards Altair. “You drove me mad”, Malik agreed. “I've wanted to punch you in the face more than just one time.”

  
  


“But you understand why I did it?”

  
  


Malik sighed, loudly and he drummed his fingers against the can. “I- sort of, I mean... Why didn't you just tell the truth right from the beginning?”

  
  


“Because you would have stopped talking to me then”, Altair said and wow, that came fast. It was also true.

  
  


“Yes I would have”, Malik agreed.

  
  


“See?” Altair looked at him then slopped down against the bed and he stretched his leg to pull his desk chair close so he could rest his feet on it. He took another few sips of his beer. “I couldn't tell you the truth.”

  
  


“And this has worked out better now?” Malik rose an eyebrow at Altair.

  
  


He grinned but it was an helpless grin. “You're on a date with me and you're in bed with me, aren't you? I mean... technically you are”, he added.

  
  


And this was the Altair how Malik remembered him. He nodded, slowly, then hummed. “Yes... I think you're right...” He noticed Altair sitting closer now. “Technically I'm in bed with you”,Malik said and flipped his finger against his can.

  
  


“And technically _you_ kissed me”, Altair said with a growing smirk.

  
  


“Technically I did”, Malik agreed again. “And technically, _you_ got me undressed”, he said and watched Altair flush from the corner of his eyes. “With a really, really bald move – I have to admit, it somewhat impressed me.”

  
  


“It was no bald move!” Altair cried at him, eyes wide with horror – that Malik would even _think_ that of him. Outrageous.

  
  


“So was”, Malik muttered rather unimpressed and leaned towards the edge of the bed, putting his beer down on the ground while Altair emptied the rest of his own.

  
  


“You'd like to believe that, old man”, Altair snorted. His cheeks were a bit rosy and Malik just assumed it was because of the alcohol. There was a moment of pause in between them, the soft tunes of the playing music engulfing them like a blanket, setting the whole atmosphere to something lazy, something intimate.

  
  


“So technically... you wanna make out?”

  
  


Malik snorted and he was glad he'd put away his beer or else it would have come out through his nose. “Still not making bold moves boy?”, he teased.

  
  


“I feel a bit tipsy”, Altair said with a shrug, ignoring the comment.

  
  


“From one beer.” Malik looked at him with disbelieve, one eyebrow crooked.

  
  


“I don't really drink on a daily basis...” He sighed heavily and looked up the ceiling. “I do think about you on a daily basis though.”

  
  


It caught Malik a bit off guard and while he was used to Altair's honesty he was used to read it on Skype, not hear it coming from his lips in the so called 'real life'. “Well I assume it's hard not to since we talk to each other every day.”

  
  


“Not anymore.” Altair shook his head. “We used to before... you know.”

  
  


“Things didn't really go according to plan”, Malik simply said – he knew what Altair meant but he didn't feel like commenting on it. He was sure the kid was hating himself enough for not showing up to their dates and pissing Malik off really badly. He thought it was better to let it go – especially since he planned of letting Altair go but he started wondering if that was the right decision. Either way, Malik knew the risks of more than just one heart getting broken were there. And he did everything to ignore that fact right now.

  
  


“No they didn't”, Altair. “Or maybe they did, they just worked out... differently. I mean, we're here...” He turned his head and looked at Malik with a lopsided smile on his lips.

  
  


Maybe it were the soft cries of Billie Holiday sounding over the speaker, the low snarl of a drum set combined with the tunes of a piano playing or maybe it was the light which put half of Altair's face in shadows which made his eyes shine just the more brighter, the light pink blush on his cheeks from the alcohol or the honest, sincere look in his gaze – maybe it was all of that combined which made Malik reach out in the end, his hand coming to a rest on Altair's neck to pull him in for a kiss. Only this time it was bigger, more urgent and Altair was responding, dear god he was responding. He pushed closer against Malik, his hand coming up cupping the side of Malik's face, lips parting carefully and a small sigh rose from the back of his throat.

  
  


He sneaked an arm around Altair's waist, pulling him on top of his lap and Altair did, followed all of Malik's movements until he could hold his face between his two hands, kissing him still. “So technically, we're making out now?”, Altair whispered against Malik's lips as he pulled Altair's shirt out of his pants so he could feel the warm skin of his back.

  
  


“Altair... hush now.” He run his hand up underneath Altair's shirt his fingers following the little bumps of his spine all the way up to his shoulder-blades then back down to grab him by his hip. Altair's weight was pushing down uncomfortable, the muscles in Malik's neck were aching and he needed a change of position-

  
  


Altair yelped with surprise as he suddenly found himself on his back, blinking up at Malik who was hovering above him with a lopsided smirk playing around his lips. “Much better”, the older man muttered. He watched with satisfaction how quiet Altair got when he pulled against the hem of his shirt and pushed it upwards, revealing patches of sun-kissed skin. Altair wasn't exactly scrawny... only that yes, compared to Malik's own stature he was, his stomach flat yet firm even though there weren't any visible muscles with a flat chest. He'd describe Altair as small yet lean, a man who still hadn't outgrown boyhood yet. Malik was sure it'd come eventually – he certainly didn't mind now though, now their difference in physical appearance and hight was very much appealing. After all, Malik liked being in control and in control he was, very much.

  
  


“Still feeling tipsy?”, he asked as he covered Altair's body with his own, his warm breath stroking the kid's face as he was just mere millimeters away from his lips. Altair nodded, silent and at a loss of words. Malik reached up, pulling Altair's glasses away and put them down next to the bed. “But not tipsy enough to not being fully functional”, he grinned and his thigh went in between Altair's legs, pushing up against the growing bulge there.

  
  


Altair groaned, cheeks flashing pink and he turned his head away as Malik settled down, holding some of his weight on one elbow so he had one hand free. He watched his fingers climbing up Altair's skin, goosebumps following their trail and he smiled. Altair's reactions appeared so... innocent to him one might almost think it was the first time Altair was experiencing them. This was something Malik thought he might want to see more often – it made him wonder in all the ways just what other kinds of reactions Altair had to offer him and... he wanted to see all of them. He leaned down, kissing the spot just underneath Altair's ear. “I will take this off of you now”, he breathed into his ear as he pushed himself upwards. Altair was looking everywhere at once as he lifted his arms, letting Malik pull the shirt from his body and his eyes briefly flickered across Malik's own appearance before he fell back into his back, head turned away once more. Altair was as stiff as a shelf. “Feeling comfortable down there?”, Malik asked and he leaned his head on his palm once he settled back into his previous position, his hand resting loosely on top of Altair's stomach with his thumb drawing lazy circles around his navel.

  
  


Altair turned his head to look at him. “Uh yeah pretty much”, he stated lamely. “Why?”, he asked but his voice didn't hold much force and was barely just above a whisper.

  
  


“Because you're acting like an indifferent woman-”

  
  


“I do not!” His cheeks got hot with anger and Malik probably enjoyed that sight way too much.

  
  


“You're not?”, Malik asked innocently and rose his eyebrows. “Alright. You're not. But I'm pretty sure I can make you moan like one-”

  
  


“Can not”, Altair huffed and he parted his lips for another reply when his eyebrows quickly shot up, mouth gaping open with pure surprise and he drew a sharp breath in.

  
  


“No?”, Malik hummed against Altair's skin, one hand settled firmly on top of the bulge between Altair's legs while his tongue flickered across one hardened nipple. He looked up at him, then _squeezed._

  
  


It made Altair moan, his head rolling back and eyes closing as he lifted his fist to bite into it. Malik reached up, pulling it away. “No, none of this”, he said and he rubbed his palm lazily across the boy's erection. His voice was husky, a bit rough around the edges and it made Altair look at him. “Tonight, I want to hear you.”

  
  


Altair groaned, almost as if in defeat. He knew it was a promise and he knew Malik would keep to his word.

 


	12. Chapter 12

****

  
  


Malik always thought fall was a much under appreciated season. Maybe it wasn't really fall yet but summer was about to end, the leafs slowly changed in colors and it got colder. Today was such a cold day and he pulled his scarf just a little higher trying to protect himself from the cool wind blowing. His hands were dry and a bit red, his fingers moved stiffly across his cell phone screen but wearing gloves wasn't really an option either. He opened his chat window to the one he shared with Altair.

  
  


'Can we talk please?'

  
  


The message was six weeks old. Six weeks and still no answer. He often muled over the thought if he should have written more messages just to prove to Altair he was serious about it. He'd typed a lot of messages but in the end always denied himself from sending them so in the end, it was just this little lonely message sitting in the chat, waiting to be answered. But an answer had never really come. At first Malik had checked his phone several times a day just to make sure he didn't miss anything. After a few days he'd just checked daily and after weeks had passed with no answer still, he turned to checking his phone every other day. He'd fucked up. Big time, and now all he could really do was to get used to a life without coming home in the evening and getting to talk to away too cheerful and energetic Altair. Kadar, being the only person he'd really been able to talk to about Altair, had eventually put his hand on Malik's shoulder and told him to let go. That was a few weeks ago and had felt like reality hitting him full force. Kadar was right, he should just let go and get over something he never really had.

  
  


Today was Malik's day off and he'd decided to get out of his apartment and follow the river through the city, enjoying the cool breeze of the wind tousling his hair with the soft sound of water splashing and ducks quacking. He was greeted mostly by joggers and women with their buggies, some elderly people as well and every now and then students would pass his road. Malik stopped by a group of young people, dancing to some music on the street collecting money from their audience. It didn't really help that one of them sort of reminded him of Altair. The way he moved, the crooked smile and the style of clothes were all too similar for Malik to ignore. As he stood there and listened to the music, he pulled out his phone one more time and his brows rose with surprise.

  
  


Altair was online. He wasn't typing but he was online and Malik quickly typed a message only to erase it a short moment later. He leaned against the wall separating river from road, overlooking the water as he turned towards it. In the end, he held his phone in his hands once more. There wasn't anything he could lose, was there? He'd already lost everything he could have had so what was stopping him, really? His own cowardice and nothing more and Malik was tired of being a coward.

  
  


'I'd like to meet you', he typed and hit send. Altair was still online and he could see he was reading his message, then went offline.

  
  


It was worth a try and it didn't even really surprised Malik. He was getting a taste of his own medicine in the worst possible way. He'd done the same thing to Altair over and over again. He'd lead him on on a date, he'd fucking slept with him only to banish him from his life, kicking him out and into the streets like a poor stray.

  
  


His phone went off in his hand and Malik looked down at the text message flashing across the screen.

'id really wish youd just leave me alone'

  
  


Alright. So that really hurt and Malik felt this ugly feeling settling in his lower stomach which made bile rise at the back of his throat. He felt ill. 'I wish I could too but living without you isn't really worth it' – and Malik hit sent. It might sound a little over-dramatic but it felt like the truth to him. He wasn't half-dead yet without Altair but... the sugar in his coffee tasted less sweet, his work didn't put him through an adrenaline high anymore when he finished a big piece, sleep wasn't that relaxing anymore. Life was simply less enjoyable. It wasn't over but it felt as if somebody had hit pause and Malik couldn't for the love of god find the play button anymore.

'shut up malik'

  
  


Even if that message only had three words, Malik could very well read the hate behind it. He deserved it, yes he did, dear god he fucked up alright! He was thinking for a moment to just throw his phone into the river and never think of Altair again but that was impossible. That boy had left way too many fingerprints in Malik's life, he couldn't let go of the memories just like that.

  
  


He looked at his phone again, Altair was offline. Eventually, he just put it back into his pocket and turned back around, watching the little dance group a while longer, wishing he wouldn't see Altair's face in every little one of them.

  
  


  
  


xxx

  
  


  
  


“Kadar, just listen”, Malik said as he opened the door of his apartment with his brother standing in front of it, holding two boxes of pizza and wearing a dumbfounded expression on his face. “What-?” But Malik simply grabbed him by his collar and pulled him inside before kicking the door shut.

  
  


“I know, I _know_ you can't hear this anymore but I seriously need your help”, Malik went on. He left Kadar standing in the middle of his living room, confused and all while he paced back and forth like a trapped animal. Maybe he shouldn't drink so much coffee but he needed to think and coffee always did the trick for him. TC was sitting on Malik's couch table, his tail swinging from one side to the each other and he had this expression on his face that clearly said his human had lost his fucking mind.

  
  


“What are you talking about?” Kadar put the boxes onto the coffee table and scared TC away like that, the cat jumping with a soft thud down onto the carpet only to start cleaning himself there. Kadar climbed over TC to get to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and sighed loudly. “You said you've had something to drink”, he said and sent Malik a stern look. “The fact your fridge is almost empty determined that was a lie”, he said with a smirk.

  
  


“Freezer”, Malik said and pulled at his little goatee, frowning as if he was thinking hard.

  
  


Kadar looked and with a small noise of simple joy pulled two bottles of beer out and carried them back to the living room. He fumbled with his lighter to open them and eventually handed one over to Malik as he walked back to him. “Okay, so what is it? What do you need help with?”

  
  


“Altair”, Malik said and Kadar groaned loudly.

  
  


“I can understand how you feel about him but you honestly ruined my whole summer with it”, he whined long and loudly – Malik knew he only meant it halfheartedly.

  
  


“I wrote him again today, he answered-”

  
  


“And?”

  
  


“Basically told me to fuck off-”

  
  


“But you don't plan on doing that”, Kadar said with a crooked brow and flopped down on Malik's coach, TC jumping up and into his lap. Malik watched his brother having fun with trying to balance his beer bottle on top of his cat's head.

  
  


“No because I need to apologize to him. In person. I know he probably won't forgive me and yes, I know that I've fucked up and this is the end of it but...” He run his fingers through his hair, tousling it even more. “I need to apologize, you know? From face to face. I mean it's the least I can do.”

  
  


“Probably”, Kadar agreed and reached for the pizza next. “If I were in Altair's place I really wouldn't give a fuck about your apology though.”

  
  


“Yes I know I'm acting selfish”, Malik agreed and walked back to his kitchen, turned around and walked up next to Kadar, standing there for a second before doing the same over again. He sat down eventually. “I need to do this to move on – you know?”, he said in a quiet voice and took a piece of pizza out of Kadar's hand, staring at it.

  
  


“Yes I know”, Kadar said and reached for a new slice. “Still don't think it's a good idea”, he hummed around a mouth full of food, licking melted cheese off his bottom lip.

  
  


“I have to do it”, Malik kept on and it made Kadar look up at his brother. He still wasn't eating that pizza. “I know where he lives, I can go over to his place-”

  
  


“No, no,Malik!” Kadar sat up and put his pizza down, licked the excessive fat from his fingers before he placed his hand onto Malik's shoulder. “You don't do that-”

  
  


“I do it”, Malik said with a stern nod.

  
  


“Are you fucking drunk or anything?” Kadar actually shook him a little. His brother turned towards him and it was the first time ever, in his entire life, Kadar saw Malik miserable, absolutely and truly miserable. He noticed the dark circles underneath his eyes now, the empty somewhat tired look in them and the pale color of his skin. “You have it so bad, don't you?”, he said eventually, his voice softer, calmer now.

  
  


Malik rubbed his face, putting the pizza back onto the table after TC had thought that pepperoni sausage was way too good to be waisted and stolen it. “Yes”, Malik agreed. “Yes that's probably true.”

  
  


“Alright, I understand that”, Kadar hummed and rubbed his hand over Malik's back. “But going to his place really isn't a good idea.”

  
  


“I know it's not”, Malik agreed. “But what else can I do? He doesn't answer to my messages, he doesn't pick up when I call him on Skype, he-”

  
  


“Malik”, Kadar cut him off, his hand moving back to his brother's shoulder and he squeezed it, hard. “I've told you once and I'm telling you again but... move on.”

  
  


Malik pressed his lips tightly together and for a moment the only thing that could be heard was TC munching on his sausage. He reached down, stroking his cat's head, scratched him behind the ears. “I can't”, he said and looked at Kadar, “I can't.”

  
  


  
  


xxx

  
  


'Kadar.'

'Pick up.'

'Brother...'

'Kadar I need a lift, I'm drunk'

'And bleeding.'

'Mostly drunk.'

'Fuck I've ruined my shirt...'

'And don't tell mom!'

  
  


'what the fuck what do you mean you're bleeding, Malik are you alright???'

  
  


It was a bit difficult to hold his phone at the moment and there was a bit of blood smeared across the screen... It was really gross. 'I'm alright but you really need to pick me up.' Malik thought he deserved a fucking medal for being able to still write like that. He wasn't _that_ drunk but he _was_ drunk. He sat down onto the curb in front of the apartment building. It was raining, the pavement wet but oh really, Malik couldn't care less.

  
  


'yeah okay I pick you up just tell me what happened'

  
  


Malik groaned and he rubbed his face, hissing with pain as he accidentally touched his nose – maybe it was broken. 'I'm at Altair's.'

  
  


'you're what?'

  
  


'Kadar... pick me up already.'

  
  


'you've got to be fucking kidding me dude!'

  
  


Malik reached into the pocket of his pants, he thought he still had a tissue there... It felt like as if his nose was starting to bleed again. A moment later, his phone went off again.

  
  


'send me the address and I get you.'

 


	13. Chapter 13

  
  


  
  


“I hope it still hurts”, Kadar said as he threw Malik a damn package of headache pills into his lab before following him onto the couch. “Does it?”, he pondered and crooked an eyebrow at his older brother.

  
  


Malik let go of the peas he'd been holding up to his nose and they fell into his lap and between his legs. A few years ago he'd bought an old clock he'd found at the flea market and which was now a decorative piece in his living room, still running. It was one of those big wooden clocks who made loud ticking noises – when he'd bought it he thought it was a clock which would rang every hour but it didn't. He was now thankful for that because even the steady ticking was too loud in his ears and sent a jolt of pain up the back of his nose and straight into his brain. “Yeah it does”, he groaned and fumbled with the package of pills, popping two out and swallowed them dry. His nose was broken, the doctor had told him what Malik already knew but damn, setting his nose had hurt like a bitch. Unfortunately, his nose would stay crooked. He could get it fixed but that would cost a fortune and Malik rather lived with a crooked nose than poor.

  
  


“Good”, Kadar huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. TC has hopped up his lap and was now purring, rubbing his head against Kadar's arm.

  
  


“Thank you for driving me to the hospital”, Malik muttered and he sounded miserable and a bit ashamed. To top it all, he had one of the worst hangovers ever and the world around him was still wobbly and his head dizzy.

  
  


His brother didn't say anything for a long time and the only thing which broke the silence was TC purring and making little cat noises. Malik's hand dropped down and he scratched his cat behind his ears. “What were you even thinking?”, Kadar asked eventually and dear god, he sounded just like their mother.

  
  


“I don't know”, Malik groaned and picked up the peas again, holding them up against his nose once more. “I was drunk-”

  
  


“Yeah, like really fucking drunk”, Kadar agreed and nodded widely. “I didn't even know you could get that drunk and still write on whatsApp.”

  
  


“I'm impressed myself”, Malik agreed and sighed long and loud. He could feel Kadar's gaze on him and after Malik didn't say anything else, Kadar groaned loudly and frustrated. “Are you going to tell me what happened now or not?”, he pondered and wasn't exactly patient about it.

  
  


Malik shrunk in his seat and his shoulders slumped down. “I sort of uhm... punched Altair's boyfriend?”

  
  


“You what?!”

  
  


Malik's hand shoot up to his head, holding it and his face turned into a grimace of pure pain. “Fuck, not so loud you idiot”, he hissed and moaned miserable. “I went to Altair's place-”

  
  


“You fucking idiot”, Kadar grunted and scratched TC underneath his chin. He looked at Malik, “You stupid fucking idiot.”

  
  


“Yes I know”, Malik whined and nodded then put the peas back down again and set them onto his coffee table. “I know I shouldn't have but I thought- I mean... My plan was to apologize to him and then just go but-”

  
  


“But?”, Kadar cut through his words, too impatient to hear the story and Malik sent him a stern look.

  
  


“So I went there, yes? I've thought I talk to him, apologize and then let him be, like he asked me to do”, Malik sighed and drummed the tips of his fingers against the couch. “But when I knocked at the door someone else opened and I know it wasn't his roommate, I've seen them on a picture together hanging on the fridge in their kitchen. His roommate looks Italian or Grecian, something like that”, Malik explained with a wave of his hand. He pressed his lips tightly together. As he recalled the memory he could feel new hot boiling anger flowing through his veins and it made him curl his fingers into tight fists. “I've told him I want to speak with Altair and he looks me up and down with that _look_ on his face, you know? Like he knew who I am and he said Altair's busy at the moment. Keep in mind I was really drunk okay?” Malik eyed Kadar helplessly and he had to admit, what he was about to tell his brother next was probably the least proud moment of his life. “I've told him bullshit, I could hear Altair's music playing in the background, I knew he was there and I sort of... just let myself in.”

  
  


Kadar groaned loudly and hid his face in his palm but made a motion which told Malik to continue his story.

  
  


Malik took a deep breath. “So I went into his room and-” Malik stopped again, Kadar peaking at him through his fingers and again, Malik took a deep deep breath in “-and I could tell they've had sex.”

  
  


“How?”, Kadar suddenly asked and his voice was muffled, he still haven't taken his hand down but now it was only covering his mouth.

  
  


“I mean for once you could smell it”, he said with a nod and now that he played through the evening one more time, it made him feel even more embarrassed about it. “And then... sort of... naked Altair? In his bed”, Malik muttered and cleared his throat. “He just looked at me, you know? He looked shocked, surprised... then angry. I've wanted to tell him how sorry I am, I've wanted to tell him... how much I want him back”, he added and his voice grew softer and softer with each word. Malik knew Kadar would probably mark this day in bright red in his calender – it was a rare sight, for Malik showing emotions like that. Malik cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders, the moment just as quickly gone as it had come up. “Before I could say anything I hear his boyfriend behind me, screaming what the fuck I was thinking and pulling me back into the kitchen and- I have no idea how it happened, really I was just acting, I... just punched him.” Malik's shoulders slumped again. “I think I didn't even hit him really because next thing I know is his fist meeting my face and it throws me around and there's blood everywhere. I think I accidentally smashed a chair too before he could throw me out. Desmond or whatever the fuck his name was.”

  
  


Kadar was quiet for a moment. His brows were meeting the line of his hair, his eyes wide with pure shock, surprise and bewilderment. “You know”, his brother eventually said, “I'm not sure what I should wonder more about – the fact you got into a fight or that you were kicked out by a fucking teenager.” Kadar snickered.

  
  


“I was drunk, okay?” Malik sounded pissed.

  
  


“It's still funny”, Kadar grinned and coughed when Malik's elbow met his ribs. “You're still a fucking idiot but it's funny.”

  
  


“It's not funny!” Malik wiped his face with one hand and groaned in pain when he accidentally touched his nose in the progress. “I made a fucking idiot out of myself-”

  
  


“I know”, Kadar said and he was grinning widely now. “I keep telling you that!”

  
  


“You're not exactly helping here Kadar”, Malik huffed at him and leaned forwards, his elbows resting on his knees and he glanced at his cellphone resting on the coffee table.

  
  


“I know, I'm not trying to – I'm fucking done with that shit.” He held up one finger at Malik. “And it was the last time I was doing this for you. You better not ever say that name in front of me ever again.”

  
  


“Who's? Altair?”

  
  


Kadar glanced at him. “Yes. That one exactly.”

  
  


Malik nodded and rubbed his eyes. “Yeah alright. I mean after tonight- I probably never going to hear from him ever again.” And he certainly wouldn't write Altair again – not when he still felt like as if he wanted to hide for the rest of his life. He still couldn't believe he'd done that last night! Shit! Malik had never felt more embarrassed all his life.

  
  


His phone vibrated and moved along the table but Malik ignored it. He closed his eyes and fall back into the couch, The Captain walking across his lap as if he owned the place, then sat down heavily. “I wanna die”, Malik whined and rolled his head back, looking up the ceiling. “I can't believe I actually did this.” His phone was vibrating again.

  
  


“Don't you wanna look who's texting you?”, Kadar pondered but Malik shook his head. He let his arm drop down onto the back of his couch. “Probably Maria... I've told her I wouldn't come in today, she probably wants to rip me a new one for calling in sick.” He would have had three appointments today – which meant money was running through his fingers like sand. Malik wasn't happy about it but he couldn't work today, not like this when the skin underneath his eyes and around his nose was a deep dark purple and when he was in this much pain still... and also probably still drunk.

  
  


Kadar shrugged but when Malik's phone buzzed a third time, he picked it up unnerved and held it out for Malik to take. “Just take a fucking look, it's making me nervous”, he said and shook the phone in front of Malik's eyes before he finally took it out of Kadar's hand.

  
  


'youve ruined my night i hope youre proud'

'and im really fucking mad at you'

'but i guess you came for a reason so... wanna meet down at the pier tonight?'

  
  


All three were from Altair and Malik looked with disbelieve at his phone, then read the messages at least a dozen time again before Kadar got impatient again and leaned closer to read them as well, but Malik held his phone out of reach. “So? Who wrote you? Maria?”

  
  


Malik shook his head slowly. “No”, he said in a soft murmur. “Altair wants to meet.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

Summer was over, Malik realized that when he stuffed his hands deep down into the pockets of his coat as he walked down the pier. There was an icy wind blowing tonight but the sky was clear of clouds but still, it was cold enough for him to see his own breath dance in front of his face as a white cloud. Today was Saturday and there were a lot of people on the pier despite the cold weather – it was a popular place for young couples to take a walk and for some hardcore joggers as well who liked to run by the sea. Malik could also spot of a few tourists who were still taking pictures with the skyline in their backs.

  
  


He was wearing one of his fine coats, a deep navy blue with three buttons in the front and a high collar. He was also wearing a scarf thanks to the wind but maybe also because he could pull it up high enough to hide some of his face – even though a few days has passed since the incident at Altair's place, the skin around his nose and underneath his eyes still held some sort of blueish green. He just didn't look hist best, simple as that. He'd taken out one of his best pairs of shoes, black and shining but their leather was thin and he was getting cold feet – because of the weather, thank you very much.

  
  


Malik pulled out his phone and read over the last messages once more.

  
  


'Yes!' That was the first one he wrote Altair and after he'd decided it made him sound a bit desperate, he'd added another text to it. 'But I can't tonight, I'm sorry. I really want to meet you though. Maybe we could do so on Saturday?'

  
  


'yeah sure. maybe I dont wanna punch your face then'

  
  


Malik had visibly flinched at that but chose to ignore that comment. 'Alright, Saturday down by the pier where we met last time. Around 8'

  
  


And Altair had agreed to that. They hadn't really talked to each other for the rest of the week – Malik didn't want to push his look and Altair probably wanted to play hard to get. But none of that mattered because right now it was ten minutes after eight and Malik still couldn't see Altair anywhere.

  
  


He was about to lose his hope when it was nearly half past nine when he heard a light cough behind him. Malik turned around. The lights of the bridge stood behind Altair, blinking white and red as he stood there awkwardly, his glasses riding low his nose. He quickly pushed them back up again, almost hiding in that red hoodie of his, the ends of his torn jeans stuffed into the chucks he was wearing. He looked through and through like the nineteen year old he really was and Altair didn't mind, didn't mind at all.

  
  


He wasn't alone though, that kid standing right next to him which had thrown that punch at Malik which broke his nose. Malik's mood darkened instantly. “I've thought we were meeting alone”, he said not wasting time with greetings. It felt like a stab to the heart as he watched Altair slipping his hand into Desmond's.

  
  


“He's here for support”, Altair said and he sounded younger than he really was. It made Malik frown – Altair sounded hurt, a lot.

  
  


“You could have told me”, Malik said and he took a step back but not away from Altair. His gaze flickered across the two young men and he suddenly felt very, very uncomfortable like he wasn't supposed to be here. What has he been thinking about coming here? What did he expect? For Altair to run into his arms and kiss him very dramatically in between all the people walking down the pier so they could have their happy ending?

  
  


Yes. A tiny part of him had wished for that but the small orb of all his hopes shattered into a thousand pieces. It made Malik step back into reality and reality was a fucking bitch.

  
  


“If I would you wouldn't have come”, Altair said with a shake of his head and Malik knew that was true. He wouldn't have come then.

  
  


“If I had know you're together-”

  
  


“You wouldn't have stormed into my room and tried to hit my boyfriend?” Altair arched an eyebrow at Malik and he scooted closer to Desmond, his knuckles turning white with how tight he held on to the other's boy hand.

  
  


“I'm sorry about that”, Malik said quickly because there really was no reason at all to not take full blame. “I was drunk and I was mad at myself.” It was no excuse but it explained his acting. He looked up, meeting Altair's gaze. He usually wasn't somebody who begged but-

  
  


“Could we please talk alone?”

  
  


“Hell no.” That was Desmond, speaking his first words of the night. “I'm not going to leave you alone with that maniac.” He pointed at Malik and pulled Altair closer to his side still. Malik thought there was something odd about the sight of him holding Altair's hand.

  
  


“I'm not. I usually don't pick fights and act like I did the other day”, he said and straightened his back and shoulders. He really wasn't one to bed...

  
  


“Look, Altair I know I made some really horrible mistake but the least I thought I could was to apologize – but I won't do it with him standing by your side holding your hand as if he's about to rip your arm off, okay? Could we please go somewhere else? And talk in privacy?”

  
  


To his surprise Altair actually looked like as if he was thinking about but Desmond shook his head. “No. Not going to happen. Altair no.” He shook his head widely and pulled against Altair's arm once more and made him look at him. “You're not going with him you're-”

  
  


“Could you pick me up?”, Altair said. “In an hour, here.” He pointed down to their feet. “Please. I want to hear what he has to say.”

  
  


Desmond looked at him as if he'd just lost his mind and Malik wanted to do a little victory dance. “But you said-”, he hissed and Altair pulled him aside and away from Malik. They were talking to each other, heads close and Altair was gesticulating widely with his hands and at one point, Desmond crossed his arms in front of his chest and Malik could actually hear him huff loudly. Altair held on to his hand as Desmond made it look like as if he was turning away and in the end, he stepped closer and Altair kissed him. He came back without Desmond by his side, instead the boy stood by the banister, turning his back to them.

  
  


“Everything alright?”, Malik asked because he thought it was more polite – after all, he _was_ here to apologize, not to destroy a relationship. A relationship he should have had, he realized that too late now.

  
  


“One coffee”, Altair said and pulled his hood down his fingers moving through his hair in a nervous manner and he took off his glasses, cleaning them only to put them back on afterwards. They rode down his nose and he immediately pushed them back up again. “Let's go.”

  
  


xxx

  
  


It was a different place Altair had chosen for them to go to and Malik thought that was alright, if they'd gone back to the restaurant they had their sort of... first date at, it would have brought up only bad memories and he certainly didn't want that.

  
  


Altair was as cold as an ice cube though and Malik didn't really blame him for that. He was surprised the coffee hasn't freeze over yet, Altair held the cup tightly between his fingers and stared more into it than drinking it. They'd been sitting here for a good ten minutes, for Malik it felt more like hours but he couldn't really find a beginning but in the end, he settled for one, “So... Desmond and you, huh?”

  
  


Lame.

  
  


Bad.

  
  


Awful start.

  
  


Altair looked up at him over the rim of his glasses. He shrugged and made a deep sound Malik couldn't understand. “Since when?”, he asked.

  
  


“Does it matter to you?” Altair arched an eyebrow at him and put another cube of sugar into his coffee, probably the third or fourth by now.

  
  


Malik took a deep breath and picked at his glass of water. He wasn't really sure what he was even ding here and Kadar was probably right. He was an idiot. He was a grown man in his thirties, he had a stable job and he was really _fucking_ good at it. He loved his work, he loved his little apartment, his big fat cat – life was perfect but he'd been missing something all these years. Somebody he could come home to. When Kadar had set up that dating profile he'd been beyond furious at first but then he'd thought why not give it a try? And when Altair came along he knew keeping that profile has been the right choice – now he wasn't so sure anymore.

  
  


Malik looked up and studied Altair's face. They were sitting by the window and since it was dark outside, Malik could watch Altair's reflection in the glass if he turned his head just so. He could also see his legs reflecting on the smooth surface, how they bobbed nervously.

  
  


The boy had ruined him, simple as that. He'd know idea how it could have spun so much out of control like it had last week but it happened and there was no turning back now. Altair had made an imprint in his life he couldn't ignore and Malik was certain he didn't want to ignore it either. He'd made a mistake, he knew that but why was he even sitting here when everything was lost anyway?

  
  


“I'm sorry for last week”, he said eventually. “And I'm sorry for coming here. I shouldn't have”, he said with a shook of his head. “I should have just leave you alone.”

  
  


Altair nodded and he took a sip of his coffee. “Yes, you're right. You've fucked up my life enough already, I mean-” He sighed and rolled his eyes up the ceiling as he leaned back heavily in his chair, his feet shuffling across the floor. He looked just as young as he really was and Malik thought in that moment they couldn't be more different. It really had been a stupid idea to come here. “You're an asshole Malik”, Altair said.

  
  


He nodded, “Yes I know-”

  
  


“No you don't.” Altair leaned forwards again and across the table. “You're a fucking asshole Malik and I've wanted to say that to your face.” He glared at him with so much anger Malk was sure there was nothing left of Altair's feelings for him at all. “You've ruined everything.”

  
  


“I was scared-”

  
  


“Scared? Of what?” Altair looked him up at down. “How could _you_ possible scared? Didn't you hear about all the rumors? Guys like you aren't scared”, he scoffed and his eyes roamed over Malik's arms although he wore something with long sleeves but Altair had seen the tattoos there.

  
  


“You're getting irrational.”

  
  


“I'm allowed to I'm only nineteen”, Altair muttered. “A kid, am I not?”

Malik shook his head, “No.”

  
  


“No?”

  
  


He sighed and made a wide motion with his hand, “I mean yes-”

  
  


“Great...” Altair huffed at him.

  
  


Malik thought he deserved his anger but it was slowly getting too much. “If you would have told me the truth right from the beginning none of this would've happened.”

  
  


“Yes you're right, you wouldn't have talked to me at all.”

  
  


It was true but Malik didn't say that – and he started to think that maybe, lying was the exact right thing Altair could have done. “I'm sorry”, he said again. “You talking to me was probably the best thing that could have happen to me”, and now, that made Altair look up at him with honest interest. He cleared his throat again. “I'm not really good at this Altair, you probably noticed that by now and I know I'm repeating myself but look, I'm honestly sorry. For everything.” Malik set his gaze on Altair and he looked smaller in his chair now, as if he was slowly shrinking away.

  
  


“I've thought you really liked me”, he started but Malik didn't let him finish.

  
  


“I do like you and-”

  
  


Altair looked up, “I've waited for a guy like you, you know?”

  
  


“What?” Malik felt this ugly, cold knot forming in his stomach, twisting his insides and he could feel all color draining from his face before his cheeks turned incredible red. “You-”

  
  


Altair watched him closely, his brows narrowed with anger again and Malik wanted to say more but his tongue felt too heavy and it was nearly impossible to open his mouth again. It was as if an invisible weight was pressing down his shoulders, his arms too heavy to move and his legs tingled. Altair's gaze softened, “You're really that oblivious aren't you?”, he said slowly. “You had no idea.”

  
  


Malik shook his head, slowly.

  
  


“Does it change anything? If you would have known, would you've called me?”

  
  


Malik thought for a moment and eventually, nodded but then shook his head again. “I don't know”, he muttered. “You seemed nervous, yes”, he admitted. “But I've thought because you weren't that experienced yet-”

  
  


“I wasn't. Did it never cross your mind I might be a virgin? Well, was a virgin?” Altair blushed when he said it and it was as if embarrassment hit him full force and he quickly turned his eyes down to his coffee. “I mean-” He searched for the right words but Malik knew he couldn't say anything which could take his previous words back. He could actually see how Altair's anger shrunk to a tiny little ball and a moment later, he rose his hand chewing at his nail nervously – just like Malik remembered him from their first night together. He'd screwed up bad, hadn't he?

  
  


“I'm sorry”, he said again but he already knew that couldn't even cover it how awful he felt about this. “Desmond”, he said next, trying to change the subject to not embarrass Altair any further, “you like him, huh?” He chuckled nervously but it died quickly on his lips.

  
  


“Desmond's... we're not really... together”, Atair said after a long pause.

  
  


“But you two had-”

  
  


“We didn't”, Altair said and shook his head.

  
  


“But I saw the condoms”, Malik started and again, Altair let his shoulders slump.

  
  


“Still from you.”

  
  


“You were naked.” Malik rose his eyes suspiciously.

  
  


“I was wearing pants, you only saw my chest. When I heard it was you I've thought I might... act like as if we had-”

  
  


Malik still didn't believe him. “But it smelled in your room...”

  
  


“We just came back from working out”, Altair sighed and leaned back in his chair once more. “Alright, could we drop this please? Nothing happened between Desmond and I, I just thought it'd-” He paused and wiped his mouth with one hand. “It might be a good idea to make you jealous.” Altair looked up. “Your nose wasn't really part of the plan.”

  
  


Malik shrugged. “Makes me look more badass and I can live up to the cliché of a tattooed guy who likes to get into fights”, he said. It made Altair pull up his lips and it almost looked like half a smile. Almost.

  
  


They were both startled by a knock to the glass and when they looked up, they saw Desmond standing outside, pressing his nose close to the window and gesturing at Altair, then at his clock. Their hour was up, alright and Malik rolled his eyes.

  
  


“He's better than a watch dog, isn't he?”, Malik muttered sourly and this time it earned him a full smile – a small one, but still a full smile.

  
  


“He's my best friend, don't blame him”, Altair shrugged and fumbled with his pocket, pulling out a few crumbled bills and put them onto the table. “I should go now”, he said and made to get up but Malik thought this might be the last change he'd get so he rather grab it while it was still in front of him. His fingers curled around Altair's wrist as he stood, keeping him from going. Altair looked down at Malik's hand and then his gaze traveled across Malik's arm until their eyes could meet.

  
  


Malik's heart was beating wildly in his chest and he could hear the blood pumping through his veins. He felt weightless and everything seemed so surreal around him, as if he was in a dream walking through gray fog and all he could see was Altair.

  
  


“Will you go out with me?”

 


	15. Chapter 15

Time slowed down and Malik watched Altair, mindful of every little detail; the muscle in his jaw twitched, he blinked his eyes rapidly as his cheeks turned a light red. Malik could practically _feel_ the mix of cold and hot running like waves down Altair's spine, making him tremble and seem so much smaller, younger, than he really was. Malik held his breath and he waited, Altar parting his lips as if he was to say something when he licked across them first, his mouth opening once more like a fish gasping for air on dry shore.

 

The spell was broken by the little bell ringing above the door of the coffee shop, Desmond stepping inside before he made his way towards them. He put his hand lightly onto Altair's shoulders and took a step too close for Malik's liking. “It's alright”, Altair said and brought some distance in between them, “I've told him about us”, and Malik could see how Desmond instantly relaxed, probably thankful he could now drop the act and return to simply being Altair's best friend and not his lover. It didn't stop him from eying Malik skeptically though. “Can we go then?” Desmond pondered and Malik was sure that Desmond held just the same role Kadar’s been holding for all those weeks now, listening to Altair and his sorrow about Malik just as Kadar had listened to Malik's. Desmond looked tired and Malik couldn’t even blame him.

 

Altair nodded, turned around but Malik held on to his wrist. “You didn't give me your answer,” he said, hopeful and a smile crossed his lips; Malik hoped it didn't make him look like a freak. Altair watched his hand, Desmond was making an impatient sound and Altair shook his head, slowly. Malik's shoulders slumped down and it felt as if his bones were turning into soft goo, making it impossible for him to keep his own weight up. His fingers slipped from Altair's wrist and his hand met the surface of the table in a soft thud, the spoon to Altair's coffee falling down onto it with a loud clang. He watched Altair leaving through the door and out into the night, vanishing between people and colorful lights. It was unreal, not happening and Malik’s sight shrunk down to the size of a tunnel.

 

 

With a quick gesture, he pulled a few bills out of his wallet and slammed them down onto the table, leaving a more than just generous amount of tip and went after them. Not again, not this time – he wouldn't let him go just like that, he wouldn't let this chance slip through his fingers like sand again. “Altair!” He called after him as he made his way through a group of young people, celebrating something or maybe nothing, but Malik could smell the alcohol on their breath as he pushed through them; he knew there was a small carnival down by the beach so they were probably heading there. He followed Altair and Desmond out into the parking lot, shoving people aside not too gently and basically left a crowd of shouting angry people behind before he finally caught up with them. “Altair”, Malik said again out of breath and he felt warm all over from running. “Come on”, he tried as he ignored the roll of Desmond's eyes when he fumbled with the keys to what Malik assumed was his car, an old Chevy Blazer in black. Malik spread his arms in a helpless manner and smiled uncertainly, “Don't run away from me, please.”

 

He watched a brief exchange of looks between Altair and Desmond, then Altair nodded and Desmond got into the car. Malik's shoulders dropped but his heart made a jump when Altair walked back up to him. “Stop doing this to me”, he said with a sigh. “You- why are you doing this?” He whined and rubbed his face with both hands, looking up the dark sky and his nose was red from the cold. “I hate you”, Altair said and Malik's heart went from heaven down to earth again, crushing hard and falling into a thousand pieces. “Because you keep fucking me”, he added and held his finger up pointing at his own temple. “You keep fucking with my head.”

 

It was scary, if only for a bit, how mature he looked at that moment, how much different he was now from the boy Malik had met at the public pool. It was his fault for ruining Altair, there was no denying it. It's been too long since he'd seen Altair smile, seen his eyes brighten by just looking at Malik. He'd ruined the boy and he couldn't even look in the mirror because of it. “I know”, Malik said. “I know I've fucked this up right from the beginning”, and Altair scoffed at that. “But all I ask is one date. One _real_ date. There's a carnival down the beach, there's a bonfire and a firework later, too. You can make a choice here”, Malik tried again and this time, nothing could stop him anymore. “You can turn around and make me feel miserable for the rest of my life”, because he'd never get rid of the little questions of 'What if...?'

 

“Or you can give me another chance I don't deserve and decide afterwards what to do, but-“ Malik changed his weight from one foot to the other and looked towards the lights of the city then back to Altair, the world keep on turning while time seemed to stand still around them, “I'm really not the guy who begs,” he said after a moment and just stood there, the cold showing in front of his face with every breath he took.

 

“What if I want you to beg?” Altair challenged as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, chin and nose high up.

 

Malik offered a tiny smile, “You're not that type of guy.” Altair shook his head, agreeing with Malik. “No I'm not”, Altair said when he set his gaze on Desmond who was knocking against the window from the inside of the car to get his friend’s attention - he was getting impatient. Altair sighed and Malik held his breath as he walked over to the driver's side, the window rolled down and Altair crouching a little to talk with his friend. Malik couldn't really hear what they were saying but in the end, Desmond grunted a loud “Fine” and turned on the engine, backing away and out of the parking spot. Malik had to take a step back in order to not get run over but Altair kept standing there, watching his friend driving away before he set his eyes onto Malik once more.

 

“I like bonfires”, he said and for Malik, the whole world lit up.

 

xxx

 

It was loud and colorful, people were laughing and the few children still up at this late of an hour were running around chasing each other as they went from stall to stall, looking at the candy and food showing in the display. The beach promenade was one big sea of lights with all kind of rides framing its sides and while they weren’t talking much, Malik still enjoyed this. Altair had gotten himself some funnel cake but Malik thought it wasn’t so much to still his hunger but rather for him to have something occupying his hands with. He could tell the boy was nervous, his eyes looking at everything and nothing if it only meant he didn’t have to look at Malik. “We should go down to the beach, it’s probably not as crowded there,” Malik suggested and Altair nodded at that as he pushed a small piece of fried dough into his mouth.

 

The sand was sticking to Malik’s shoes and he knew, for the next two weeks he’d find sand everywhere in his apartment and clothes and shoes no matter how many times he’d clean. “Is your friend angry with you?” Malik pondered and glanced sideways. Altair’s eyes were set straight ahead onto the bonfire burning in the far distance but there a small smile curling his lips.

 

“Yeah, he is but he’ll get over it,” he said. “I can’t really blame him. He had to take up with my shit for the last few weeks and then-“ Altair bit his lips and shook his head. “I’ve told him so many times I’m done with you but…”

 

Malik simply nodded. Yeah, he could understand. “You know, your friend must be just as tired as my brother is.”

 

“Kadar?” Altair turned and watched Malik’s profile, probably the first time that evening ever since they’ve entered the carnival that he was really looking at him. “From what you’ve told me, your brother must have given you one hell of a time.”

 

“He didn’t even feel sorry for my nose.”

 

“I think nobody felt sorry for your nose,” Altair huffed and ate another piece of funnel cake. “You deserved it.”

 

“Yes I know,” Malik sighed loudly and rolled his eyes up the sky as he rubbed his face with both hands.

 

“Does it still hurt?” Altair pondered carefully but this time, his voice had grown softer if only for a bit.

 

No, it didn’t but, “Yes, sometimes it does.” Malik nodded.

 

“I might feel a little sorry then,” Altair whispered and kicked against a small stone that lost itself somewhere in the sand ahead of them.

 

Malik sighed and pulled up his shoulders, his hands vanishing in the pockets of his pants. Groups of people had settled down on the ground and they had to find a way around them so in the end, they walked near the water, trying to avoid getting wet feet by walking around the incoming waves. It reminded him of Altair and himself and there constantly dance around each other but never truly meeting. “Look, Altair I’m- I mean it when I say I’m sorry.” He sighed again. “It’s just… You’re doing something with me and I have no idea what it is-“

 

“Wait, it’s my fault then?” Altair stopped, the fire in his back but the smoke was turning the other way. Malik could feel the heat of it and it turned his cheeks into a rosy color. The fireworks were about to start and most people were gathering on the beach and around the fires now to get a hold of one of the best possible spots to sit and watch the sky. Malik ignored them and somewhere, music was playing but Malik didn’t listen.

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Malik said with all the patience he possessed. “It’s nothing you’ve done-“ He made a gesture with both his hands, turning them around each but he still failed to grasp the right words. It didn’t really help that Altair was looking up at him, munching on a piece of fried dough.

 

“You have there something,” Malik muttered and rose his hand cupping Altair’s face so his thumb could brush across the small spot right next to his lip where some powdered sugar was sticking to his skin. He only realized what he was doing when Altair was stuttering for the right words, a dull ‘Huh?’ filtering through his lips as he looked up at Malik, eyes wide and a bit glassy. Fireworks were shot, the sky was lit up in a bright red and gold behind Altair, the people around them turning their eyes upwards paired with the occasionally muttered ‘Aaaah’ and ‘Ooooh’. But neither of them were interested in the streams of blue and green drawing patterns into the night when Malik leaned forward, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He kissed Altair and the moment was perfect and right when Altair leaned into him, sighing blissfully against his lips. Altair’s nose was cold but his cheeks were flaming up when Malik rose his second hand and cupped his face.

 

The night was still cold, the Ferris wheel was still turning and Malik knew, the moment was about to end but the memory of the feeling of Altair’s lips pressed against his own would burn itself into his memories forever and make that night last forever.

 

When he pulled away he felt breathless and anxious, waiting for Altair to say the first words but he was simply looking up at Malik and the silence between them was stretching. “I want you to kiss me again,” Altair whispered and heat was rising to his cheeks, Malik knew it wasn’t because of the nearby fire.

 

“I can arrange that,” Malik smirked and made to step forwards again with his hands on Altair’s hips but Altair brought some distant in between them and now Malik could see, he wished to get rid of the leftovers of funnel cake in his hands as he looked nervously around.

 

“No,” Altair shook his head and the cold of the upcoming wind burnt Malik. “Last time-“

 

“Oh.” Malik’s shoulders dropped. Yes. Last time. He could understand why Altair was hesitant about this, why he could no longer stand his proximity and seemed so utterly lost. The sight made his heart break because he knew, it was his fault. Malik rubbed the back of his head and rolled his shoulders nervously. “Where’s a cat when you need one,” he muttered underneath his breath and looked down to the ground.

“What?”

 

Malik looked back up and sighed, an uncertain smile on his lips. “It’s a cat moment, I mean- you know, when you feel down or insecure… a cat on your lap makes it all go better.”

 

Altair cocked his head to one side, yes, he was pretty confused. “That’s- that’s-“

 

“Immature, silly, stupid, yes I know but believe me when you’ve met the Captain it’s-“

 

“It’s really cute,” Altair grinned now and Malik took a deep breath of relief. “I remember how many times you’ve scolded that cat of yours.”

 

“He always finds the right moments to walk across my keyboard when I’m chatting with you.”

 

Altair chuckled, “Yes, I remember that one time when he accidently sent me a letter.”

 

“It were just letters,” Malik muttered with a frown.

 

“It was funny,” Altair nodded and ate the last of his cake. He chewed and swallowed, some of the light had returned to his eyes when he met Malik’s gaze. “I’ve always wanted to meet him…”

 

“You could meet him tonight,” Malik suggested and as soon as the words had left his mouth he could have bitten his own tongue off. Too fast, too fast! Small steps, damn it Malik – take small steps!

 

But to his surprise, Altair shrugged. “Yeah, maybe,” he said slowly and as he saw Malik’s frown, he chuckled lightly. “We both could need a cat, I think.”

 

It was the weirdest thing Malik had ever heard one of his dates saying but he agreed to that. They were having a cat moment after all.


	16. Chapter 16

Malik had never thought of The Captain being a total ‘chick magnet’ – because one, he’s never been into ‘chicks’ his whole life and two, because he’d never really brought somebody home with him before. But now that he saw TC acting around Altair and the pure simple delight it put on his face, he was certain TC was better at flirting than he was. Maybe. What a shame… outrun by a cat. TC was sitting on Altair’s lap, tale swaying from one side to the other with his head cocked to one side, eyes narrowed as he enjoyed a scratch to his chin.

 

“You’ve said he’s shy,” Altair muttered without looking up but sounded surprised, a smile on his lips as he watched in wonder how much the cat enjoyed his touches.

 

“He usually is,” Malik called over his shoulders as he fished a bottle of water out of the fridge and some orange juice for himself. He placed the bottle in front of Altair after he poured himself a glass and sat next down to him onto the couch. He stroke his palm all the way across TC’s head and made his ears flop back, then run his fingers along his spine. “I’m not making it up, I’m serious. He didn’t show himself to Kadar for three weeks.”

 

“Well, from what you’ve told me your brother can be a pain in the ass.”

 

“In all fairness, I can’t even deny that,” Malik said with rose eyebrows and watched TC turning around himself on Altair’s lap before resting right on top of it, eyes closed and purring loudly. “TC knows the good guys,” he added with a fond smile. There was a moment of silence following in between them but it wasn’t as awkward or heavy as it was when it’d happened on the beach. TC was looking as happy as a clam and Altair’s focus was set on scratching the cat behind his ears – and the exact cat moment Malik’s been talking about earlier.

 

“You know I’m not the only one to blame here, don’t you?” He asked eventually and watched Altair’s hand and how it stopped moving for a moment before he returned to patting TC’s back. He didn’t look up though and for a moment, Malik would have thought he wasn’t really listening. “You’ve lied to me for a long time – you’ve stood me up more than just one time. I mean for six months I was in love with a man I didn’t really know only to realize it’s not a man but a boy-“

 

“In love?” Altair looked up, his hand falling down to TC’s back and staying there.

 

Malik nodded, “Yes you know- you’ve lied and your age and-“ He stopped midsentence, only now realizing what he just said. Oh. He swallowed hard and run his finger across the rim of his glass, catching a small droplet of juice there. “Forget about it,” he said with a sigh. “That was then and now is now.”

 

“So what is it now?”

 

Malik could actually hear confusion dripping from Altair’s words like thick honey slowly rolling down a spoon. He didn’t mean to say that – he honestly didn’t. He didn’t want to turn the evening into a mess, he’d meant to make up with Altair and do a fresh start. Not… not this. He glanced sideways at Altair and tried a small smile, “Hey come on – do you think I just stick around with any guy chatting me up on okcupid for six month?”

 

“But what is it _now_?” Altair asked as he wasn’t listening at all.

 

“What do you want it to be?” It was a bad move to answer a question with a question, Malik knew that. Altair probably already realized he was trying to buy some time to think of a way to get out of this mess.

 

“I’m not sure,” Altair sighed and it was an answer Malik certainly didn’t expect to come. The moment of silence stretched between them and Malik could already hear how it’d shatter to a thousand pieces by his next choice of words, “I’m not sure either.”

 

“So why are we here?”

 

“So I could show off my cat to you,” Malik tried to lighten the mood to no use. “I know what I did was wrong and a dick move but you’re-“

 

“I’m not better?” Altair looked up at him and Malik thought some of the youth was gone in his face.

 

“I have no idea how to get out of this mess,” he admitted eventually and run his fingers through TC’s fur once again.

 

“What mess?”

 

“You, me.” Malik let the statement hung in the air between them, the words thick and heavy and threatening to drown him once more.

 

“It’s not about my age again, is it?”

 

“It’s about the fact you’ve lied to me.”

 

“With good reasons!” Altair’s voice rose and it made TC stir on his lap.

 

“Probably, yes,” Malik said and took his glasses off to rub the bridge of his nose. “You can be such an idiot at times.”

 

“You got yourself a bloody nose,” Altair muttered unimpressed.

 

“You’re going to get yourself one too if you don’t stop being a smart ass.”

 

“We could have all avoided this if you would’ve just agreed to turn on your webcam,” Altair said dryly.

 

“Oh please, just so you could’ve shown me your dick?” Malik took his hand from his eyes and rose an elegant brow at Altair, looking skeptical. He snorted.

 

“You would’ve liked it,” Altair said, sourly now before he rubbed his hands against his pants and picked up his bottle before setting it down onto the table again. “Mind if I use your bathroom for a second?”

 

Malik waved his hand at him, “The door to your left,” he said and sighed long and loudly once Altair has gotten up and closed the door behind him. He sent TC a look who was walking up and down to his feet, watching Malik as if expecting a pat which he surely got to the head. “What am I doing here, mh little Captain?” He muttered before he rather felt his phone vibrating in his pocket than hearing the ring tone.

 

‘mg!!’

‘omg!! yu have these tiny bath salt ball things!!’

 

Malik frowned, then looked towards the bathroom. “Are you serious Altair?” He called over and looked back at his phone and the message Altair just sent him. “You’re right _there_ and text me?” There wasn’t an answer but a second later, his phone made a ‘pling’ once more.

 

‘yes…’

 

“Why?” Malik asked loudly, absolutely refusing to answer Altair via text as well.

 

‘you have bathing salts’

 

Malik groaned and rubbed his face. ‘Just get your business done and come back here’, he typed quickly and hit send and he could actually hear Altair’s phone going off from the bathroom. A few moments later, the water was running and shortly after, Altair was emerging from the bathroom, walking back to the couch and sat down heavily but not without Malik’s phone vibrating again. He read the message.

 

‘ok’

 

“Are you- why, why, why Altair? Why do you text me when we’re at the same place?”

 

“I didn’t know you’re the guy who uses bathing salts”, Altair said instead and went for his water bottle. The small statement almost made him blush, almost.

 

“Jealous?” He teased Altair and glanced at him from the corner of his eye.

 

“Of your tub?” Altair snorted.

 

“My salts.”

 

“Not really.”

 

“Mmh.” Malik leaned back and crossed his arms behind his head. “Could’ve sworn it sounded as if you wanted to try them really bad.” The fact that little statement made Altair blush now was enough to lighten Malik’s mood instantly.

 

“Just because you enjoy them doesn’t mean I do,” Altair said and it made him sound a bit like the age he actually was – which Malik didn’t mind at all. “Bet you take bathes with your cat,” he added underneath his breath but Malik saw his lips twitching with an unshed smile.

 

“TC loves water actually,” Malik said casually.

 

Altair turned, looked at him and there were still the leftovers of little pink standing on his cheeks. “He does?” He rose an eyebrow skeptical. “He tries to drink it straight from the faucet?”

 

“No I mean, he actually likes… taking bathes.” Now that sounded weird how he said and Malik’s brow turned into tiny wrinkles.

 

“Yeah sure.” Altair made a motion with his hand.

 

“No really, he does.” But Altair still looked skeptical, then set his gaze onto TC who was sitting on the table licking his paw before he was turning his attention back on Malik. “What, you want me to show you?” Malik was serious now and he watched how Altair bit his bottom lip, a tiny grin spreading on his face.

 

“Yeah, show me,” he said and craned his neck.

 

Malik could tell at this moment, they actually had the chance to make it through this. It wasn’t like it used to be, but their conversation had turned more and more back into old dynamics, like how they used to talk to each other all the time, well, chat with each other all the time on skype. It was going slowly, terribly slowly but… right now, it worked.

 

“Alright, I show you.”

 


	17. Chapter 17

‘Kadar.’

 

‘whazzup??’

 

‘There’s a wet guy passed out on my couch.’

 

‘oO’

‘wut??’

‘omg Malik! how???’

‘dont keep me hanging here!!!! tell me!’

 

Malik rolled his eyes – his brother’s always been impatient, he just wouldn’t have thought Kadar would expect him to answer within three seconds. How his brother was able to type so fast was a mystery to Malik though. ‘It was an accident and not as dirty as you might think it was.’

 

‘id never think such a thing!! im your bother i dont wanna imagine you getting the d D; ‘

‘but just so i know did you get laid??’

 

Malik groaned and pressed his phone against his brow while squeezing his eyes shut. Sometimes… sometimes he wished teleports were already invented so he could throttle his brother from distance. ‘No,’ he typed back eventually.

 

‘then why do you text me?’

 

‘Because-‘ Malik looked up for a moment and watched the reflection of his face in his bathroom mirror from where he was sitting on the rim of the tub. He looked down his lap and was reminded once more why he’s trying to hide in his own apartment and waiting in the bathroom. ‘Because I need you to know it’s all your fault’. Lame.

 

‘oO y???’

 

‘You’ve spoiled my cat rotten and it’s your fault he’s such a misbehaving mess now.’

 

‘-.-, ok?’

‘dont you take tc to bed with you? dnd dont you feed him food off the table? and let me remind you that he even got his own little chicken for thanksgiving last year. i dont spoil your cat rotten brother’

 

Malik rolled his eyes. Kadar got a point there but this wasn’t about his cat or him getting TC a great Thanksgiving meal, this was just- ‘You’re not a big help Kadar, thanks for nothing’

 

‘what??’ He could almost hear his brother shrieking. ‘you didnt even ask a fucking question!’

 

‘Kadar stop bothering me when I’m in the middle of a date, will you?’ Malik shoved his phone back down his pants and run his fingers through his hair – he got one, two, no, three more text messages from his brother but he didn’t look at them and instead watched those foreign eyes staring from the mirror at him. What… the… hell… was he doing here? What the hell?

 

Malik got up, leaned down on the sink and got as close as possible to the mirror. Altair was ruining him, completely ruining him – Malik was doing things he’d never even thought of doing them for another man. He was making a fool of himself but Altair didn’t seem to mind. He was making irrational and at times, stupid decisions and yet, Altair was still here and somehow hasn’t run away yet. That boy was pure temptation and if that’s the price Malik had to pay to have Altair then he’d gladly do it. He turned on the water, let the cold run over his wrist before splashing some into his face and dried it with a towel from the rack.

 

“I think you can wear something I have,” he said once he made his way back into the living room, leaning against the door for a moment before he pushed himself off and walked over to Altair who was lying face down on his couch, wet shirt clinging to his stomach with a purring cat sitting in the small curve of his lower back – his fur was still wet especially around the paws and lower legs but TC was happy none the less, the little pirate cat proving that he was indeed The Captain.

 

Altair looked up tiredly, “It’s not that bad.”

 

“You’ve picked up a wet cat and tried to cuddle with it, yes it’s bad,” Malik hummed as he made his way to his own bedroom, quickly pulling a drawer open to grab the next best shirt there and threw it at Altair who caught it lazily with one arm rising from the couch.

 

“I’ve never seen a cat taking a _swim_ before,” Altair said while shaking his head and pulled the shirt close to his chest with one hand before making to move, TC disturbed by the motion and jumping down onto the carpet only to sit there and lick his back. Malik watched how Altair pulled the wet fabric over his head and it got stuck a bit. This wasn’t fair and before he knew what he was doing his arms framed Altair’s body to both sides as he pressed his hands against the back, knees moving to meet the cushions on the couch pulling the fabric off by giving a helping hand. Altair blinked at Malik once, Malik realizing they haven’t been this close in a while, especially not when only partially clothed. “Hey,” Malik said with a smirk not able to help himself as he looked down Altair’s chest with a cocked head. There weren’t much muscles but Altair was lean with just the right amount of body fat. Malik’s phone was vibrating again in his pocket but he ignored it once more. “You’ve ever thought of getting a tattoo or piercing?” He muttered casually while his hand came up to let his fingers curl around Altair’s waist.

 

“What?” It was more of a squeak and it made Malik chuckle as he slowly sat down to straddle Altair’s lap.

 

“I ink so many people a day, it’s sort of… not weird but it’s different to see a body that’s untouched like yours”, he tried to find the right words and watched the fine line of hair leading from Altair’s navel down to his crotch and vanishing behind the waistband of his jeans. Was it getting warmer in here? Malik could certainly feel his limbs heating up.

 

“I haven’t given it a thought really,” Altair said and followed Malik’s eyes down his own body and while Malik could see the faint colors of a growing blush on his cheeks, he didn’t seem to be at any discomfort and it brought him back into his old game, pushing his confidence up and through the roof within one second. “You should get a piercing,” Malik said with a nod since yes, yes that was probably the best idea he’d has in a long, long time.

 

“A piercing? I’m not really fond of needles,” Altair said with a frown, his eyebrows pinched tightly together.

 

“You’d look good with one,” Malik insisted though and moved his hand upwards to Altair’s face. “Not a labret,” he added as he cupped Altair’s jaw and by the confused look on his face, he added “Your lips. Maybe one in the eyebrow or… a helix,” he said and let his finger run over Altair’s ear, to the top then back down to the lobe. “But personally, I prefer something else.”

 

“You do?” Altair asked and it pleased Malik to hear how rough his voice was, how it’d changed within the last few moments, breathless and small.

 

“Mmh.” Malik tipped his head back and pressed his palms flat against Altair’s chest. “I’d say you get a nipple piercing.”

 

“Nipple… piercing.” Altair looked at him as if he’d just lost his mind, the wrinkles in his brow so deep Malik thought if he’d keep it up they’d stay there forever.

 

“Last time I remember you’ve had a thing for nipple play,” Malik smirked and Altair jumped a little when he flickered his thumb across one bud, pushing back further into the couch as if trying to get away and yet stayed exactly where he was, unable to move and break free from Malik’s spell.

 

“I- I don’t know,” Altair said and looked anywhere but Malik, the tips of his ears turning red and he rubbed the side of his nose nervously. He licked carefully over his lips, his eyes settling on an invisible spot on Malik’s chest. “I mean, it hurts…”

 

“For a bit and not as much as you might think right now,” Malik pressed further on, consumed by the idea now of getting at least one of those nipples pierced. “You could come by tomorrow noon, I could squeeze you in between appointments – we could have lunch afterwards,” he said before he even realized what he’d just said there. It might not look like it but it was a big step, inviting Altair to where he worked, a usual safe place for him where he could meet his co-workers… his friends. He could already hear Rauf teasing him about Altair’s age.

 

“If you like them so much why don’t you have any piercings?” Altair whispered, watching a bit helplessly how Malik shifted closer, almost taking the air to breath from him but Malik could tell he didn’t mind, not with how flushed his cheeks were, not with the look in those glassy amber eyes, the lightly parted lips and the quickening pulse he could feel pumping underneath Altair’s chest where his hand was resting.

 

“I like a lot of things I don’t need for myself,” Malik hummed and sat further up, almost hovering above Altair and his hand came to meet his face again, tipping Altair’s head back lightly by gently holding his chin in between his fingers. “I won’t talk you into getting one but I’m certain you’d love it,” he purred and now, _now_ things finally felt like they should between the two of them – this was what Malik’s been looking for, the old familiarity between them without the fear of doing a false move or saying the wrong word but acting on his instincts and knowing what Altair liked and disliked. This felt more like one of the many chats they’ve had in the past, Malik enjoying it probably way too much having Altair by the hook but it was always so nice to see him speechless.

 

“I- I don’t know,” Altair stuttered. “I’ve never really thought about it but-“ His eyes turned down, his gaze roaming over the ink on Malik’s arms. Malik watched how he took a couple of deep breaths, trying to get his composure back and for a small moment, Malik saw how he succeeded with it. Altair smirked, although it was tiny and the corner of his lip was trembling, “I didn’t know you’ve such a fetish,” he said and some of the old cockiness Malik remembered from seeing when they’ve been chatting on Skype came back.

 

“You wish,” Malik smirked and cupped Altair’s face with both hands before kissing him, slow and lazy as if they’d all the time in the world with the night never ending. He could feel how Altair shifted his weight underneath him, restless and even nervous, his thighs trembling and it filled Malik with pure -maybe a bit sadistic- joy having him like that. He was somebody who believed in equality in relationships and in general but that didn’t change the fact how he enjoyed the look on Altair’s face he was blessed with right now.

 

“It so is-“ Altair tried to say but shut up quickly when lips met the skin right underneath his ear, a tiny spot which seemed to be a weak point – a point Malik better remembered in the future. “How about a bet then,” he muttered against Altair’s throat as he drew his arms tight around the younger one’s chest, hands sliding down a warm back. “You stay tonight-“

 

“I have class tomorrow,” Altair muttered weakly, eyes at half-mast and barely able to keep his body up straight and not succumb to a horizontal position.

                                                                                                                                   

“I have work tomorrow,” Malik muttered and said it as if that couldn’t stop him from anything – which was probably true, he didn’t have any intend to turn back from here. If anything, he wanted to push forwards. “We both can get up early.” He pulled away and out of the corner of his eye he could see TC watching them, probably judging them too – they needed to get into another room. Bedroom sounded good, very good. “So let me phrase it again,” Malik said, watching the tiny red mark on Altair’s neck before he set his eyes on his face. “You stay the night,” he said again and noticed how Altair’s adam’s apple bobbed at that as he swallowed thickly while his lips looked dry and chapped. “And I bet you by the end of it, you’ll agree to a piercing. I even do it for you, I’ll be gentle.”

 

Altair snorted, although it sounded weak and he looked like as if he was about to melt into Malik’s couch. “How?”

 

“Mh.” Malik narrowed his eyes at him. “I can be very persuasive.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a tumblr, come talk to me at the-eagle-of-masyaf.tumblr.com :-)

 

“N- not like this, Malik-“ He bit the bottom of his lip hard, a concentrated frown wrinkling his brow as if he wasn’t sure what to do, push against Malik to get him off or pulling him closer?

 

It was warm in Malik’s bedroom, two glasses standing on the carpet by the end of his bed which one already being emptied while the other one still held some leftovers of a drink. Malik had decided for a romantic mood somewhere in between getting those drinks ready –nonalcoholic for Altair, of course– and pushing Altair towards his bedroom which wasn’t too hard of a task, after all. There was a candle burning on the dresser opposite to his bed, the candle holder a gift Kadar had once made him for his birthday shortly after he’s gotten The Captain. It was an old wine bottle with a wide round belly and since he’s gotten it Malik had burned so many candles on it that the glass was covered by thick traces of wax in all kind of colors. Right next to it stood a small chest, also a present from Kader.

 

_Since you got a pirate cat I’ve thought I get you the appropriate accessories._

It came in handy, the flickering light of a burning candle always held something soothing for Malik and the chest was a good place to store… things he didn’t like most people to see. Except for Altair who was wriggling underneath him with hands pushing and gripping at him tightly whenever he changed the angle of his mouth. He rose his head once he was satisfied with the size of the mark he’d just sucked into the skin just above his chest, left where his heart was beating underneath dark skin. “Why not?” Malik asked and pressed his hand into the cushion next to Altair’s head, looking down at him with a smirk on his lips – the kind of smirk he by now knew made Altair blush. “You’ve been more straight forwards while we’ve talked on Skype…”

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been straight with you on Skype,” Altair gasped and the comment made Malik pinch a nipple, lightly but not without delivering some pain.

 

“Smartass,” he told Altair who whined but otherwise showed no action of trying to get away from that pain. Malik flickered his thumb across the spot, soothing it some but not without watching how it made Altair shudder. “What do I have to do to shut that cocky mouth of yours, mh?” He sat up straddling Altair’s hips and run one hand through his hair, looking down at him. It put a smile on Altair’s face and it turned Malik’s heart to soft wax – he loved seeing that smile. It made his face look a little lopsided with tiny wrinkles appearing around his eyes but Malik thought all of his smiles made his eyes lit up, turned them a little brighter even and he craved for that to see.

 

“You’re the old man here,” Altair said with a stretch as he put his arms behind his head, toes wriggling. “Shouldn’t you know what to do?”

 

“You’re not only cocky but also kinky, are you?” He let his head roll back and glanced back at that chest sitting on his dresser.

 

“I’m just waiting for you to seduce me – that’s what you’ve wanted to do isn’t it?” Altair grinned upwards knowing exactly what he was doing but more so, saying it with the confidence of somebody who knew exactly what he wanted. It was different than last time but while he was still blushing, and while he still didn’t know where to shove his hands at times, Altair was different than the last time they’ve slept together. This was better. Way better.

 

“If you don’t watch your mouth I have to make it stay shut you know?”

 

Altair’s head sunk just a little deeper into Malik’s cushion. “Why don’t you make me then?” He dared and Malik simply looked at him with lidded eyes. He got up wordlessly and set his feet down onto the carpet. On his way to his dresser he picked up the glass still holding some of his drink, emptying it on his way over only to place it down next to the burning candle. He took the chest underneath one arm, pulled one of the drawer open to get the matching key hidden underneath a pile of black socks. He put it all down onto his bed and Altair sat up a little, already reaching for the chest to pull it up to him to get a better look, when Malik grabbed one wrist of him and held his arm out of reach. “Did I say you could touch it?” He asked with amusement shining in his voice.

 

Altair looked down his arm, watched his wrist with Malik’s fingers curled around it then slowly met the older man’s gaze. “I need permission now?”

 

Malik shook his head and clicked with his tongue. “You’re absolutely hopeless.”

 

“You just bring out the worst in me, I can’t really help it.”

 

He watched Altair, wondering if he should reply to that. He decided not to and slowly let go of Altair’s wrist after he pushed his arm back so it could rest comfortable right next to his head. As he settled back he watched Altair for a while without moving at all. When he saw how Altair tried to push himself upwards he rose one eyebrow and it made the boy grin before he stopped with what’s he doing and instead waited. Malik thought for a moment how long it’d probably take for Altair to lose his patience but then decided he wouldn’t test his patient tonight but maybe some other day when there was more time – a whole lot more of time.

 

“We need to correct that then, don’t we?” Malik asked, head cocked to one side as he picked up the key for Altair to see. He turned it a few times between his fingers. “I really shouldn’t have told you about the chest, mh?”

 

“You’ve told me quite a lot of things on Skype,” Altair gasped and his lips pulled up for another grin. “Would it be bad if I tell you I jerked off to that?”

 

“As if I wouldn’t already know” Malik scoffed and popped the chest open glancing at what was lying in there. Kadar jokingly called it his treasure box although his brother had no idea what’s inside – which was for the better, really because as nosy as his brother was about his love life, he’d rather didn’t have Kadar’s nose all the way up his sex life. “You’ve made it kind of obvious – there were times I’ve thought you were just as bad as an all the time horny teenager. Didn’t know you actually were,” he added with a wink.

 

“Yeah… and you still fell for me.”

 

“Correct,” he hummed as he leaned back on one hand, the chest balanced on his knees. “Let’s see…” He run his fingers through various items and Altair’s eyes got a bit wide when he craned his neck in order to see what’s inside – if he was correct about it, then he’d just heard some chains rattling. “Come on, lay back down. You get to see when it’s time.” Malik decided on three things which were probably a good start and wouldn’t scare Altair away – not that he thought that was possible but… better take it easy in the beginning. “Alright, close your eyes and if I catch you cheating I’m just going to spend the night teasing you and nothing else.”

 

There was another one of those blushes, the ones he’d come to love and that he’d maybe gotten addicted to. The light shade of pink on his cheeks, the red tips of his ears and when it got really worse, the blush would even travel down to Altair’s chest – Malik aimed for that to happen at least once tonight. He pulled the black scarf through his fingers, the soft fabric caressing each digit before he leaned forwards to tie it around Altair’s head to cover his eyes. “You’re blaming me for being kinky but you’re so much worse than me,” Altair said with surprise.

 

“I’m the king of kink Altair… you’re just a novice,” Malik hummed clearly enjoying this and looked if Altair was still able to see some of the world around him but when he tested his sight, he found he was blind indeed. Good.

 

“Does this mean I have to call you Master?” Altair pondered.

 

“No,” Malik chuckled, “but maybe by the end of tonight you’re begging me to be allowed to call me that,” he grinned and the look he got on Altair’s face was absolutely priceless. A mixture of pure shock, disbelieve, arousal and confusion coming altogether. “Cat got your tongue, mh?” Malik leaned over Altair and kissed his parted lips. “Didn’t really think it’d be that easy to shut you up.”

 

“That’s because you’re… you’re really…,” Altair gasped but was unable to form the words and shook his head, not showing resistance when Malik took a hold of his wrist pushing it upwards over his head. “Because I’m really?” Malik whispered as he kissed Altair’s ear, nibbling on it, licking it, biting it – and he was drawing all those wonderful, wonderful sounds from Altair, the little huffs and sighs paired with the sound of feet moving over bedcovers followed by a little arch of his back. “Nipples are not the only place for you to be very sensitive, huh?” Malik wondered out loud.

 

“I’m not- not saying anything to that,” Altair gasped and turned his head upwards when he heard the snap of handcuffs holding both his wrists up and over his head.

 

“I could make you say _everything_ ”, Malik promised, maybe threatened and he sat up to watch his work, satisfied with the outcome and the display of Altair in front of him. The light stretch of muscles underneath taut skin, the depression of his stomach, the light curve of his chest. It was too tempting to resist and Malik thought that tonight, he didn’t have to miss on anything. He run his hand over Altair’s side, making him startle. “And I bet you’d be happy to tell me all of them,” he added in a whisper as he leaned close to Altair’s ear, his breath brushing over the still damp skin there.

 

“T- tell you what?”

 

“Everything you wish me to do to you of course,” Malik chuckled and pulled back, his hand staying where it was just underneath Altair’s ribcage.

 

“Fuck Malik, you really are a kinky bas-“

 

He stopped short when Malik squeezed his side, lightly as if it was a warning and Altair, smart boy he was, understood. “Mmh but don’t you wish I’d touch you right now,” he muttered and pressed his fingertips to Altair’s skin, watching with keen interest how it turned white and when he pulled back, red dots appeared where he’d just touched him. “Will you let me pierce your nipple tomorrow?”

 

Altair groaned, “No.”

 

“But why not?” Malik pulled up the light chain – it was purple and not very strong, the links only loosely connected with each other. But there were clamps to each end which could be turned tighter or wider. Right now he wasn’t sure what Altair deserved so he settled for something in between and reached for one bud to set the clamp on top of it. Altair hissed, more with surprise than actual pain and he turned his head towards where he thought Malik was sitting. “Ouch,” he said as emotionless as he could muster.

 

“That’s not all,” Malik said and added the second one too, then hooked one finger lightly underneath the chain and pulled, watching how Altair’s nipple got stretched a bit.

 

“Ow.” This time there was a hint of pain in his voice.

 

“Hurts?” Malik asked and lay down next to Altair’s side, head propped on one hand while the other one kept pulling against the chain, one leg crossing over Altair’s as he watched his face closely. “Can’t hurt that bad.”

 

“It’s not bad,” Altair said and he sucked a deep breath in, “It’s… new.”

 

“Ever done something like this?”

 

“You know I’ve never been with somebody before you,” Altair said and his tone dropped a little.

 

“You can still play with yourself,” Malik clarified and he watched those ears turn red again – he always found it fascinating what effect words could have to people and Altair was reacting especially well to his. It was interesting how he could make goose bumps spread over Altair’s skin, it was satisfying watching how the hair on his arms stand to end when he just whispered into his ear, it was absolutely _thrilling_ how he could make Altair’s erection bob by simply pulling that chain.

 

“Never did that,” Altair muttered and swallowed hard, his weight shifting just a little.

 

“Always just rubbed one out?”

 

Altair blushed even harder, “Yeah…?”

 

Malik smiled, “You know I never told you this but I feel honored to be your first – I get to show you all the nice things.”

 

“S- so far you’re doing really good.”

 

“I know I do,” Malik grinned. “It’s me we’re talking about.” He let go of the chain and run his finger around Altair’s areola, Altair shivered and pulled his shoulders up while his toes curled tightly. “I think last time we didn’t have as much fun as we do now,” Malik added and watched how Altair shook his head lightly.

 

“Last time was awkward,” he muttered.

 

“I’m sorry for that,” Malik said and leaned close to Altair’s ear, kissing it with his tongue following shortly the touches of his lips. “It should have been more special.”

 

“It’s- it’s alright,” Altair gasped as Malik’s finger traced along his chest, moving underneath the chain to the middle of his torso. “I really… really don’t want to think about last time right now.” Malik smiled at that and rolled onto his side pressing up against Altair as close as possible. Maybe he was a bit of a romantic or maybe it was just because he was head over heels falling in love with that boy, but he thought Altair smelled of some weird mixture of vanilla and cinnamon – his nose brushed along Altair’s neck, taking a deep inhale of that scent. Maybe it was the shampoo he was using or his body wash, either way he smelled delicious. He hoped his scent would get stuck to his cushion – Malik would probably end up hugging said cushion close to his body tomorrow night, sniffing it so he could fall asleep in peace. Malik’s smile widened. He was a grown man of well over thirty and here he was, thinking about sniffing the pillow his date has slept on. It wasn’t too bad, an image he could get used to although he’d rather have the original in bed with him and not just a cushion to hug.

 

“Are you nervous about your nipple piercing tomorrow?” Malik asked and Altair groaned when that searching finger circled around his navel, traveling down the trail of hair leading to his crotch only to move back to said navel just before Malik could even reach his sex.

 

“I won’t get a piercing,” Altair moaned and rolled his head back, exposing the sensitive part of his throat all the more.

 

“Those clamps hurt more than that piercing,” Malik hummed and pulled at them some more, milking another one of those moan from Altair. “I bet I could make you cum by just teasing them.”

 

“Wh- what? My nipples?”

 

“Mh-mh.” Malik nodded, watching how Altair’s chest rose and fell with each of his breath, the thin film of sweat standing on his brow, the lightly parted lips…

 

“Why are you so fascinated with them?”

 

“Because I know how much you like being touched there even if you can’t admit it,” Malik grinned and leaned over so he could kiss him, a quick chaste of lips meeting lips. It pleased him to no end watching how Altair craned his neck after he pulled away, trying to follow Malik to get another one.

 

“Bullshit,” Altair whispered.

 

It went silent for a long time. The music had long stopped playing and the bed was creaking underneath Malik’s weight when he changed his position to cover Altair’s body with his own. He kissed all over his chest, his lips leaving wet trails on hot skin, his fingers moving quickly. It was too hot in the room for Malik to be comfortable but Altair released all those sweet sounds into the silence that he just couldn’t stop. His hips were pressing tight against Altair’s own and he parted his legs, hugging Malik close to him and he could actually feel their erections meeting, rubbing together but not enough to give either of them any pleasure. This was nothing but a tease.

 

Malik released one of the clamps. “Dear…! Fucking god, Malik!” He pulled against the cuffs keeping his hands in place, legs curling as he pulled his knees upwards, slightly turning onto the side from which Malik just taken the clamp off his nipple. “That- that hurts!”

 

“Yeah it’s the hardest part when they come off,” Malik muttered unimpressed and reached out to pull Altair onto his back again, his palm resting on his chest with his thumb moving almost lovingly over the tortured bud. “I should have told you that maybe.”

 

“You think?” Altair groaned again, back arching and heels digging into the mattress as Malik took off the second one. “You son of a-“ He stopped as Malik silent him not with a kiss this time but with closing his lips around the nipple, sucking hard as his tongue toyed with it at the same time, taking the pain away.

 

“Malik,” Altair gasped. “Fuck…”

 

He looked up from sucking, smirking and as he let go there was a thin thread of saliva connected with Altair’s skin and his lips. It tore when he spoke again, “What is it boy?”

 

“Will you jerk me off already?” Altair groaned and pulled against his cuffs some more.

 

“Will you come to me for that nipple piercing tomorrow?”

 

“Fuck no,” Altair groaned but pushed his hips upwards and Malik could tell there was already the promise of pre-cum.

 

“Then no, I’m sorry. Can’t do that,” Malik chuckled and it frustrated Altair to no end, his whole body moving upwards, back arching off the mattress before he went limp again, and lying breathlessly underneath Malik.

 

“You’re a fucking bastard Malik”, he groaned.

 

“No,” Malik grinned and returned to suck Altair’s nipple between his lips. “I am the fucking king.”


	19. Chapter 19

“Alright, let me just wrap this up and then you’re good to go,” Malik hummed as he wiped over the freshly inked tattoo with a wipe once more before applying an ointment carefully to it. “You don’t want to get any water on it for the first couple of days,” he added as he placed clingfilm over the man’s lower back and right hip. “And there’s going to be scab – don’t pick at it, I know it’s hard but you have to wait for it to fall off on its own.” He rolled back back and pulled the latex gloves off his fingers, stretched and got up. “There’s a double mirror over there,” he pointed to the back of his booth. “Take a look.”

 

“Thanks man.”

 

Now this was probably the most satisfying part of his job – Malik watched how his costumer turned in the mirror, craned his neck, and looked down his body from all possible angles. It started with a small smile on his lips but it quivered and was shortly replaced by a huge grin. Yeah, Malik could tell he did a good job with this one. He had to admit too, that he liked working on the piece of ink – it was a nice phoenix Malik has drawn using bright colors. The shades came out nice and it didn’t look too feminine but gave the impression of a mighty beast. He really liked it.

 

“All good?” Malik asked as he wrapped up his equipment to clean everything up before his break – there were only two costumers left for the afternoon, one who was there for Malik to finish the outlines of his new tattoo before he’d fill them in with colors and a woman who wanted to get something small, something that shouldn’t take more than an hour or two.

 

“It’s perfect, wow,” he said and was so happy he couldn’t put the smile off his face. “I mean really, thank you Malik.” He held out his hand and Malik took it, the man squeezing his hand hard with a mighty shake that set Malik’s whole body in motion. “I can’t thank you enough, it came out beautiful.”

 

Malik chuckled, “Well you can start thanking me by paying me, alright? Maria will take care of that.”

 

“I’m always here to do the fun part of the job,” Maria called over from her working booth – she was sitting low over a sketch she was working on and if Malik remembered correctly, her costumer wanted to come in later to take a look at it, see if there needed some changes done. If it was alright, he and Maria would arrange an appointment for him to get the tattoo done.

 

He smirked at that, shook his head and only half listened to the conversation taking part between his costumer and Maria but at some point, he watched from the corner of his eye how Maria animated him to take off his shirt so she could see Malik’s work and she called Rauf over, admiring the outlines and shading.

 

“Go and join the fan club,” Malik called over to them as he pushed the button of his ultrasonic machine after he’d put his used needles inside, the soft buzz of the engine telling him it started to work already.

 

There was the soft rang of bells when the door to their small shop was opened and then closed again. Malik didn’t pay it much attention – he liked his working place clean and there was always a mess after he’d finished tattooing a costumer. He would only relax once everything was back on its place and when it smelled of sanitizer again. To make it short, Malik liked things clean. Very clean.

 

He could hear talking behind him was occupied by pulling his phone out. There were still three, no, four messages sitting in his inbox and they were all from his brother.

 

‘you know what malik fuck you’

 

That was the one from yesterday night and looking at it back, yeah, he probably deserved that one.

 

‘its not my fault your chickening out on getting laid’

 

Not exactly but Malik shrugged – he wouldn’t argue with Kadar about this. He came to read the last one:

‘alright whatever ive done im sorry ok?? are you satisfied now?’

 

His thumb was hovering of the keyboard popping up as he went into Kadar’s messages about to answer him but was stopped by the shadow forming above his head and Malik looked up and met Maria’s eyes. “You have another costumer,” she said with one of those bitter sweet smiles that told you she was on to something.

 

“My cost-“

 

Malik turned around. He stood up quickly and walked over to their small counter where they’ve had example of their works lying out for people to look at them when they came into their shop. Altair was currently looking through them – he held Maria’s portfolio in his hands though. When he noticed Malik’s approaching he looked up with one of his wonderful smiles and with just the hint of a blush creeping across his cheeks. “Hey.”

 

“I’ve thought you wouldn’t come,” Malik said before smirking, “not when you showed such resistance to me last night.” The small comment only increased Altair’s blush and he rubbed absently across his chest, hopefully remembering every little detail of what Malik has done to him last night. “I was a bit disappointed,” he added quietly so only Altair could hear, “I’ve really thought I’d get to change your mind.”

 

Altair rubbed the back of his head. “Alright so this is where you work?” He asked and tried his best it ignore Malik’s words but the way how his ears changed colors told Malik a different story. Of course he had some effect on Altair.

 

Malik nodded, “Yepp. Want to get a small tour?”

 

Altair looked up with a look of surprise. “Can I?”

 

“Sure.” He nodded, opened the counter for Altair to walk through and took him by the hand. He could tell how stiff Altair went, felt the look of surprise on his face without really seeing it and Malik was certain, Altair just _freaked_ because of the small gesture which in truth, told so much more. “Maria”, he said and shoved Altair in front of him, “this is Altair.”

 

“Oh”, Maria said with a smile forming on her lips, “Altair eh?” She reached out to shake his hand. “Can’t say I’ve heard much of you but both Rauf and I took bets how long it take Malik to finally come to senses.”

 

“Hey, what? You took bets?” Malik stepped in front of Altair and looked at her with narrowed eyes, then turned towards Rauf who was chuckling together with his costumer, stopping with his current work. “I’ve thought you’re my friend!”

 

“You are,” Rauf grinned, “but sometimes you have this huge stick stuffed up your ass and somebody just needed to pull it out there-“

 

“Rauf!” Malik looked back at Maria, “Why do you guys even think he’s my date? He could be just a friend-“

 

Maria snorted loudly and made a rude farting sound with her lips, “Rauf is your friend and you don’t look at Rauf like you look at him,” she smirked. “Even a blind guy could see it Malik,” she smirked and shook her head. “You’re so funny at times,” she muttered to herself. “Don’t let this scare you,” she added with a look around Malik and Altair. “We’re all the time like this,” and she made a waving motion with her hand.

 

“It’s- it’s alright, I guess,” Altair said. “I agree with all of it anyway.”

 

“Oh you’re turning against me now, too?” Malik looked at him and watched Altair offering him a small grin, “Sorry but that’s just how it is.”

 

Malik rolled his eyes up the ceiling and sighed deeply, “I’m doomed”, he muttered and wrapped his fingers around Altair’s wrist to pull him over to where he worked. “Okay, let’s get you the tour and then we go out for lunch.”

 

“This is a collection of my personal favorites,” Malik said as he pointed at the wall behind his desk which was completely plastered by pictures he’s taken of the tattoos he’s done. Altair stepped closely, eyes roaming over the pictures he almost touched with his nose. He released a low whistle, “You’re really good.”

 

“Thank you,” Malik said and maybe he’d admit it later but his chest puffed out with pride. “I just finished working so I have all my equipment here,” he said and pointed to the ultrasonic machine. “Then there are the needles I use for piercings,” he said with a wink and a wiggle of his eyebrows and pulled open the last drawer of his desk. “And some books I keep for inspiration,” he added and Altair looked over to the shelve, the books sitting in there old and torn at places – they really looked like as if somebody has pulled them out to look through them a _lot_. “Maybe next time I come over I can watch you work,” he said with an impressed nod, then rubbed his hands together nervously. “So are we good to go?”

 

“Yeah just let me grab my jacket and-“

 

“No”, Altair said with a frown, “I mean for the piercing?”

 

“What?” Malik blinked a couple of times and tried to completely ignore Maria who craned her neck from where she was sitting, trying to eavesdrop on them.

 

“You’ve said you’d pierce my-“

 

“But you’ve said no,” Malik said. “And I know I’ve pushed it a lot but if you don’t want one-“

 

“I can always take it out when I don’t like it anymore,” Altair said. “And after what you’ve done yesterday,” he added with a whisper and an even sweeter blush, “I’m not that afraid of the pain anymore.”

 

“It really doesn’t hurt that much,” Malik tried to calm him. “And you’re sure? I mean, really… sure?”

 

“God, Malik yes,” Altair groaned and rubbed his face. “I’d rather just have you doing it already before I change my mind again because on the way here, I probably did that a hundred times.”

 

Malik nodded and yeah, maybe he was a bit impressed. He still thought it was the better decision, for Altair to agree to the piercing. It’d look good on him and he was certain, absolutely certain, he’d love it and wouldn’t take it out – ever. He smiled a little, “Alright then this is my last question and after that you’re getting the same treatment my costumers get: you’re sure you want it?”

 

Altair pressed his lips tightly together, “Yes.”

 

“Okay.” Malik rubbed his hands together. “There’s a seat right here, take your shirt off while I get the equipment ready.”

 

“So on which one do you want to have it?” Malik asked as he took out the things he needed, sitting down on his chair and rolling towards Altair with arched eyebrows. “I’d say left one,” he grinned.

 

Altair nodded. He looked a tiny bit pale, especially when he saw the needle and all and how Malik pulled his latex gloves on. “I think left one sounds good.” He startled a little when Malik run one hand up down his arm in a reassuring way. “There really isn’t anything to be afraid of but just in case, how about Maria gets you a coke?” He looked over to the woman and made a small ‘would you please?’ gesture. “It helps you with your bloodsugar, I don’t want you to get dizzy or anything.” It made Malik remember the time he’d pierced a guy’s tongue and who was absolutely fine on his chair but as soon as he got up went unconscious. He didn’t want that for Altair to happen.

 

He took off the tab of the cream, put a bit on two fingers and showed it to Altair. “I’m going to put this on you, it’ll make your nipple numb for a bit – should pass within an hour.”

 

Altair nodded, going incredible quiet and simply watched Malik smearing the white across his chest and skin. “Now we wait a little and I tell you what I’m going to do.” He held up something which looked like a pair over oversized tweezers. “I put those onto your nipple,” Malik said and when he noticed the pure look of horror on Altair’s face he chuckled, “It won’t be worse than yesterday,” he added and just in time for Maria to place the can of coke next to Altair. The look on her face told Malik everything but gladly she didn’t comment on it because Altair already looked like as if he was about to freak.

 

“Hey – you’re still sure?” Malik just needed to ask him, his hand dropping down to lie loosely on the back of his hand, his thumb moving across it.

 

But Altair nodded and swallowed, “Maybe just skip the part of you explaining me how this will go and just do it.”

 

“Alright.” Malik nodded. “We do this then.” He run one finger over Altair’s left nipple. “Feel that?” When he shook his head, Malik took the needle. “Okay. Here we go.”

 

It was over within under a minute. Altair had squeezed his eyes shut the entire time and only when Malik told him to open them again, did he look down his chest. His skin didn’t even look red and to his surprise, there wasn’t even blood.

 

“What did you expect?” Malik grinned. “That it looks like in a fucking slaughterhouse?”

 

“No,” Altair said while wrinkling his nose. “I don’t know – I’ve never got a piercing before, I didn’t know what to expect!”

 

“So does it hurt?” Malik asked and opened the can of coke.

 

“Not really no – to be honest, I don’t feel a thing.”

 

“Good,” Malik grinned and pulled off his gloves then held the can up for Altair to take. “Do me a favor and drink some of that – you look fine but just in case. Some people have a bit of trouble with their circular flow afterwards and get dizzy.”

 

Altair accepted the drink, took small sips of it then looked down his chest once more. “Hey Malik?” He said as Malik was busy getting his place clean again. “Mh?”

 

“I think it looks really good,” Altair hummed.

 

Malik turned towards him, “I’ve told you so, didn’t I?”

 

“So is there anything I need to look for?”

 

“It should be healed in a few days,” Malik said. “Just don’t play with it until it is and don’t touch it. You can clean the ring every night with a pit of alcohol before you go to bed. Use a Q-tip.”

 

Altair nodded, “Can I shower?”

 

“Yepp, should be fine,” Malik hummed as he threw the used gloves and paper mask into the trash bin underneath his desk, then put the needles in a small sink for him to clean later.

 

“Was he a brave boy?”

 

The both looked up as Maria stepped closer. “Can I see it?” She asked and Altair turned towards her on his chair and she leaned a little closer to get a look at it. She made an impressed face, “Looks really good on you. Maybe one day we get to ink you up too,” she grinned but Altair bit his lips and shook his face. “I like tattoos, just not on me.”

 

“Maria come on – let him survive this, then we’ll see,” Malik grinned and held a hand out for Altair to take. He got up slowly, just in case but he felt fine. He pulled his shirt and jacket back on, waiting behind the counter for Malik to come.

 

“You’re going out for lunch now?” Rauf asked and he was looking up from his work as Malik grabbed his own jacket from the back.

 

“Yep. I could bring you something if you want.”

 

“No I’m good but thanks for the offer,” Rauf said and added with a wink, “Have fun you two.”

 

It made Malik eyes roll and he was more than glad when he and Altair were finally out in the street.

 

“You’re taking my hand again,” Altair said with pure disbelieve as they both walked down the street.

 

“Yeah,” Malik said and glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “Can’t I?”

 

“N- no,” Altair said and blushed a little. “It’s fine I just thought you’d-“

 

“I would?”

 

Altair looked a bit away, eyes set towards the streets. “Since I’m younger than you…”

 

“I’m not ashamed of dating you Altair,” Malik told him with arched eyebrows and he understood, his hand slipping from Altair’s and instead, he drew his arm tightly around his neck and pulled him as close as possible. “I’m proud of dating you,” he whispered into Altair’s ear and even without seeing his face, he could tell there was a smile on his lips. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. “Hey, uhm- could you wait a moment?” He asked Altair.

 

“Sure,” he said and that smile was still on his lips, all bright and even lightning up his eyes.

 

Malik nodded, turned a bit away and looked at the message he got on his phone. Kadar.

 

‘youre such an idiot malik’

 

He opened the message and typed back, ‘I just wanted to thank you’

Within a second later, Kadar’s reply came. ‘wut?’

 

‘For making that profile on okcupid for me. I never told you thank you’

 

‘no you called me an idiot for making it -.-‘

‘Sorry about that,’ Malik typed with a smile. “I’ll be done right away,” he told Altair and went into his browser opening the page to his profile on okcupid.

 

‘I don’t need it anymore though’, he wrote Kadar and held his phone in his hand before drawing Altair back into his arm again.

 

“So where would you like to go to lunch for, my brave man?” He asked him leaning close to his ear and with a last act before pushing his phone deep down into his pockets, he hit delete button right underneath his profile.

 

* * *

 

 

**Fin**


End file.
